All That Bloodshed

Chapter 11: I drew curtains closed

Notes:

Kind of a rehash? Kind of more in depth...

At first, Ryouhei thought that he was hallucinating again.

He'd had a conversation with Chishiya no matter how unsatisfactory it had ended. He'd seen Chishiya a few times since, and that had eased the sting of leaving that one conversation they'd had after group therapy at such a disadvantage.

Technically, it was nothing new; he'd always felt off-kilter around Chishiya.

He'd crossed the other in the hallway a few times, but Chishiya never seemed to want to stop and talk, so Ryouhei did his best to respect that and merely smiled and waved. He even got a nod in return!

He'd also run into Chishiya when he went to visit Ann and Kuina. Kuina and Chishiya had been whispering in the corner, a small smile tugging at his lips. Ryouhei had beamed brightly at the duo before leaving them to their own devices and starting a conversation with Ann. Her and Aguni were the most injured of them and would be staying at the hospital the longest. The others were out in the clear, but still under observation and more intense physio. Kuina had eventually dragged Chishiya into a good-natured conversation. Kuina gently ribbed him about being a medical student while Ryouhei asked Anna about her job. He knew she worked in forensic, but he didn't exactly know what that all entailed.

It had been a pleasant conversation. Ryouhei had been able to relax and laugh. Speaking wasn't easy — it'd technically never been, even before he'd died, however brief, but now sometimes he actually physically couldn't — but his voice didn't feel trapped when he was around them. Against all odds, they made him feel safe.

(By all logic, he really shouldn't have felt safe around Chishiya or Aguni, but his brain didn't listen to logic.)

Still, considering Chishiya was no longer actively avoiding him, he hadn't expected him to end up in his room again while Ryouhei was sleeping.

Much like the last time, Ryouhei was half asleep at best. He had almost convinced himself that the last time was a weird dream — (because if it wasn't, that would mean that Chishiya hadn't denied that he liked Ryouhei and he didn't know how to deal with that) — but he wouldn't have the same dream twice, right? This time he was much more aware as well.

"I don't know why I keep ending up here," Chishiya said softly.

He was once more seated in a chair beside Ryouhei's bed. Ryouhei was still laying in an awkward sprawl from where he'd collapsed after his therapy session. He did his best to continue to feign sleep even when he wanted nothing more than to wake up fully and talk with Chishiya. He was so different under the cover of darkness.

Ryouhei wanted him.

He wanted to understand; to gut him and see what made him tick.

Alas, for now, he had to remain in a half slumber.

"You're asleep, you won't even respond," Chishiya sighed. "But it's... easier this way. Sometimes when you're awake, it's like you shine too brightly. I can't handle your smile."

Ryouhei frowned subconsciously, snuffling slightly as he shifted. He hoped it looked natural.

"I'm no longer avoiding you. You say you want me around, but I just can't believe it. I've hurt you." He heard him shift in his seat, leaning forward. "It was worse than I thought. I saw how you looked at Niragi. Maybe, after The Beach, I suspected something, but you were so injured and we had other problems... it slipped my mind. Now it's all I've been thinking of when I see you."

Ryouhei resisted the urge to flinch. Chishiya may not have continued to push, but he should have known better than to assume that that would be the end of things. Chishiya was a diamond player. He was too smart to not figure it out.