DANGER ZONE | Kenzou Tenma

Chapter 18: Clouded judgement

I had never been in Munich before. After my trip to Füssen, I found myself being quite fond of southern Germany. I especially enjoyed the food there, but unlike the tradition, I stayed away from beer - this wasn't a vacation, after all.

On the day after my arrival, after having breakfast at my hotel, I went to one of the police stations in Munich. I didn't know whether I should cooperate with them yet, or rather solve this problem on my own. And when I walked inside the station, contemplating the pin board, I immediately saw a photo of Doctor Tenma, with a description of him and further general information next to it. I had a feeling I would regret working with the police, so I intended to leave already - luckily, I didn't.
I heard two voices coming closer from a hallway.

"Things are different now. You're not my superior anymore."

"But-"

"Goodbye, Richard."

I kept listening, curious whether something else was going to happen. Apparently, the conversation was over, because one of the men opened the door, and thus, stood right in front of me. I suppose he was Richard. He looked at me in an astonished manner.

"Can I help you, Miss?"

I shook my head. "No, thank you. Are you a policeman from this station?" He chuckled. "Well, I used to be. I'm onto something new, but I guess they don't want me here." He closely looked at me, squinting his eyes slightly. "You look like a policeman, too, if I may say that." "I'm a detective, but not from here." I had a very good feeling about him - for some reason, I knew we could work together and couldn't help but grin victoriously. "What do you say? Shall we work together?"

We went to a café nearby, both ordering coffee for ourselves to function properly.

"So you're a detective, huh..." Richard chuckled. "That means we're the same... except that I am a private detective now." "Right." I nodded, then getting straight to the point. "You mentioned an incident that happened recently. The suicide of a student, to be precise." Richard nodded. "Exactly. His name was Edmund Vahlen. He was a student at a university here in Munich. Two other students found him in his apartment, where he had hung himself. Apparently, there was a small note of his stating that he 'can't keep pretending'... Whatever that means. Well, I went to his apartment, and I found out why he had this note." He took a red book named Gallic Wars from his pocket, going through the pages until he found the right one. "There it is. His note was not a confession. It was nothing but a translation of a Latin text." "That translation is quite convenient, though", I answered. "So convenient that this student's death almost seems constructed." "I have the same feeling", Richard told me, taking a sip of his coffee. "My only hints are the two students that found Vahlen. I wonder whether they're involved." Then, he raised his head, looking at me again. "By the way, why are you here in Munich? You must have a good reason to travel here for work." "I'm looking for a phantom." Richard seemed confused while I smiled slightly. "Well, I know he exists, but I need proof. And if I'm honest, I have never seen him personally. I have a feeling that I will meet him soon, though."

About that, I was right. But what I didn't know was that I wasn't prepared for what was about to come.

We agreed on meeting again the following day. Richard said he would go after the two students and see what they were up to, so I was curious what he would tell me tomorrow.

When it became dark outside, I started to think about the last weeks, what happened and how I felt about it. Through all these years, I had told myself to leave my emotions out of my profession, because it'd hinder me from solving my cases. But was there a thing such as objectivity? And was it always the best approach? Now that I thought about it, it wasn't surprising that my colleagues took me for a cold-hearted person. Still, I believed that even if I had a family or a partner, they wouldn't stop gossiping. Rather, they would pity everyone who was close to me, for being with a person like me.

I paid attention to my own feelings when thinking about the things my colleagues had said about me, whispering behind my back with a condescending grin. It was anger that I felt, but not just that. I felt bitter. Bitter that my friendships and relationships had never worked out, that I had been disappointed so often that I started to protect myself by taking distance, and thus disappointing others.

So when I was telling Eva that I wasn't interested in Doctor Tenma, was I saying the truth? Or was I lying to myself? If I was fully honest with myself, I did have interest in him, but I did not know what kind of interest it was. And if that interest were to increase, would it cloud my judgement?

And how did Johan feel? I remembered how Inspector Lunge used to say that the crime scenes were without a trace of emotion. Did that mean that Johan didn't feel anything at all? But what would be the purpose of his actions, then? Pure destruction? For some reason, I couldn't believe this. But I couldn't prove the opposite, either. I knew I had to meet him. I knew what he was capable of, having heard Doctor Tenma's testimony. But I wouldn't let myself be manipulated.