fade into you |jordan li|

one. revenge

   She wanted this. Her second night in her dorm and she was already fucking the person she hated most, or really the second person she hated most.

Jordan Li quickly took reign as Ari Anderson's number one enemy after their first meeting, and closely behind them was her childhood bully Jayden Moore, but she wasn't who she used to be. Things had changed and now she was a normal, horny adult starting her freshman year of college after taking a gap year.

She sunk her nails in to his back releasing years of pent up anger, but on the other hand, lust. It felt like she somehow won, like she had gotten the last laugh.
Or really the last fuck you... But she would feel awful after.

After, when they both finished she quickly put some clothes on, feeling this type of regret, like she knew she would.

She felt gross, like she did something wrong even though she enjoyed herself.

"My roommates close, you should go." She muttered, not trying to throw him out, but not wanting her new roommate to find out she had a boy over and feeling the need to decompress.

"You can't convince her to stay out a little longer?" He spoke in a soft tone, he didn't want to have to go back to his dorm so quick, but that's exactly what she wanted. At least at this moment.

"Jay I can't get on her bad side, it's literally my second night and we still barely know each other." She made an excuse, though it wasn't the whole truth. She did want to make a good impression, but she really just wanted him to leave until she figured out how she felt about everything.

"Fine, see you tomorrow night? My room?" He looked eager. He just wanted to get in her pants, just like he wanted to get into every other girls pants.

"Maybe, just not too late. Classes start in two days and I want to make sure I make good impressions this week, so no baggy eyes." She forced a smile.

   She knew the answer would be no until she could wrap her head around it, but she wanted him to think she would.

"Got it." He grabbed his coat from the floor, opened the door and stepped out leaving Ari in silence.

She was used to it. Silence. Loneliness.

Her father always said "Andersons are strong, we're not weak." But she always felt so weak, especially in the midst of quietness.

She claimed that she was no Polarity, no Andre, and she definitely wasn't like her dead mother.

But it always came back to her, just like it did to them.

Dread, regret, grief, and then that same silence.

She was dreading intro to crime fighting. She wanted to be an actor. She used to stand in front of her mirror practicing random lines, to build her skills.

She really regretted sleeping with Jayden Moore now that it was over and done with for the time being, but she was going to do it again. That's what she always did. She did things she would always regret

She still grieved her mother even years after her death.

Then silence. It was like her mind played tricks on her. How could she feel all of these emotions at once?

Silence was always disrupted again in minutes with her own thoughts, after hazily showering, and writing a list that she wouldn't remember writing, but in this instance it was a knock on the door.

    It was only five pm but her roommate was already back with Chinese takeout.

"I forgot what you wanted so I just got a lot of random dishes." She held two giant bags up in the air, showing off what she got.