Honey and Hope

Astarion

Why did this big beautiful male have to make me feel so damned much all the time? I hated interspection,I didn't want to analyze the worst parts of myself. I wished it could just be easy to forget it all, but fate and the gods were cruel indeed.

So here I was crying in my lover's arms like a pathetic fool.

I needed to go for a run and clear my mind. I wanted to go and hunt. The thrill of hunting always helped me settle my more turbulent emotions.

While feeding on animals now paled greatly to the devine taste of my lovers, I needed to escape right now, I despised feeling this raw.

I cleared my throat. "I'm going for a run, but I'll be back."

I wasn't surprised that Halsin frowned at me, he would give me my freedom though. Halsin knew what it was like to feel trapped and he wouldn't keep me here if I didn't  want to stay.

I felt like a prick for needing to leave his side but I knew if I stayed any longer I wasn't sure what I'd do or say and I was loathe to hurt him. Hurt people hurt people after all.

"Astarion just be careful out there and know I'll be here waiting." Halsin sounded absolutely defeated and I didn't know what to say to make it any better for him.

I knew that Halsin saw this as me running from him, but this wasn't that. I wanted him to understand yet I had no idea how to start explaining it to him.

So like a coward I said nothing and simply took off leaving him to question and worry.

When I was far from the camp I finally stopped running.

I yelled my frustration. I raged and cursed and most certainly scared away any suitable game in the area, making this venture rather pointless.

" Fuckkk what the fuck is wrong with me?" I growled, pondering why the fuck the ghosts of my past could still be tormenting me this much.

I seethed,"Cazador you vile prick,I murdered you and yet you still cannot let me be truly free can you?Why do you get to have any part in my life any longer? I should be happy. I have the hearts of two incredible elven that I love more than anything and I just cannot give them all of my tainted heart because of you, I hate you...I hate what you've done to me."

I ran a hand through my curls not giving a shit how much of a mess I made of myself.

In my raging I suddenly heard a noise coming from the forest on my right. It had me tensing. I turned towards the dark of the woods, straining to listen to the sounds to distinguish what was out there.

It didn't take me long to notice a pair of emerald green eyes flashing. Another deep growl came after, making me flinch. This wasn't any normal woodland creature. It was something more sinister.

I slipped my blade from my boot and waited for the beast to show itself.

I bared my fangs as I watched the creature slink through the trees before it finally broke through the treeline. I knew instantly what was charging towards me and it was worse than I anticipated. The creature was a displacer beast.

The blue-black pelt shone in the light as it moved swiftly through the long grass, getting uncomfortably closer.

Displacer beasts were not just hunters and predators, they were also killers. These creatures enjoyed the pursuit and killed prey just for sport.

It was certainly unusual for one to be out here alone, but perhaps the beast wasn't actually alone. These creatures were not above hunting and attacking in groups and were known to lure their prey into an ambush.