She is an outcast. She finds it easier to express what she feels in the form of writing. Whether it is poems, letters or long texts. These are poems that she writes trying to describe how it feels to live with certain mental health issues, in a worl...
(Note: Cyrus is my anxiety. I've talked about naming your emotions in my other poem: 'when he visits')
You come out of the blue, an uninvited guest, who is not appreciated. You just appear anywhere, anytime, while I'm in class, or in the shower.
When you arrive, I feel like I'm gonna die, like someone is choking me, like there's an earthquake inside of me. My hands start shaking, my head starts spinning, my heart starts racing like it is it's last marathon.
I try to distract myself. I breathe in, Counting one, two, three, four. Hold my breath, One, two, three, four. Breath out, One, two, three, four, five. It helps, but not always.
Your best friends are my GI issues. You come along with them most of the time. And when your besties show up, I spend most of my time in the restroom.
I wish I could show these uninvited guests the way out. But it feels like they love visiting me. They feel comfortable in my head, consuming me inside out. I hold onto myself, steadying myself, so I don't fall into their trap. I have fallen before, and I would never want to fall again.
They say that it's just vitamin deficiency, and that I need to move my body a lil. But how do I tell them, you drain me? My body has no energy left, it feels like a task every time I have to move. Yet they say, "You're just being lazy. Stop being a couch potato!" I'm done eating vitamin supplements. Why don't people understand, that these guests don't leave even after consuming packs of vitamin supplements?
I want to rest. I need rest. I want to sleep. Forever?
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