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All I want to do is lay in bed all day,
cry for no reason, and binge eat.
Wrapping my blanket around me
to feel like I am in someone's warm embrace.

But all I do is get myself up and show up.
Taking long, hot showers in order to feel the warmth of a kind heart around me,
And putting up the brightest smile in the room to avoid unwanted attention.
I pull myself together,
and walk with a straightened back.
When all I really want to do
is to walk with a hunched back,
dropping shoulders, head down,
and without a cheerful countenance.

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