Want so bad

Lies (3)

September 17th Monday 6:50am

I woke up to the sound of my alarm

My head was pounding, as if i was drunk the other day and now hungover

Which i am.

I shouldn't have drunk its Monday, a school day and the most tiring day of the week

I turn off my alarm before my dad wakes up from it and get out of bed

It feels empty without my mother, its been a day since she got dead and its been a day since her birthday

I started tearing up

"No time for this Minho you have school" I spoke to myself

I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and ready my hair

I stared into the mirorr, unwanted-ly

I feel senseless
Tired
Stressed
Scared
Depressed
Lonely.

I sound so emo-

Anygays

I brush my teeth and get rid of my clothes to take a shower

The scars over my chest,stomach,arms and thighs

I look ugly

Nobody would want me

Nobody will handle my depression

I can't act normally

"Snap out of it, you have school to attend asshole."
I snapped at myself

I went into my shower thinking about the pretty blue box sitting in the corner of my desk waiting to be touched and covered in blood

I got out of the shower quickly to check the time on my phone

7:41am

I quickly go to my room to get the pretty box from my desk aswell as some books and notebooks with a pencil-case
I change obviously and get chewing gum

I go down the stairs to see if my dad is awake

He isn't

I have good-luck I guess

I grab my water bottle and put water inside it and run

I go out the door as soon as i can

"Shit." I cursed

You want to know why?

I forgot to bring make-up and extra clothes incase I get 'dirty'

I will just ask the school for clothes

And i will ask my female-friend for some make-up to borrow I also don't use her for make-up

I go to school as normal, craving food

I don't need food

"Felix~~~ C'MONNNN we're going to be lateeeeee"
Jisung exclaimed

"Hold upppppppp" Felix replied with a sigh

"I'm ready now come, we're gonna be late for schoollll" Felix said

"Sunghoon!! Can you please drop me and Felix to school?" Jisung said

"No problem get in the car and i will just get your mom" Sunghoon said

"My mom..?" Jisung asked Felix

"I don't know?" Felix said confuzzled aswell

"Morning Jisung, I just want to come because Dad's employee's mother just died and he wants his son to join your school so i'm signing him in because they live pretty far away" Mrs.Han said