Shadows

XVIII

Emptiness filled my days following Grayson's departure. Mr. Blanchard returned with glowing reports of my brother's accommodations and class assignments. We had high hopes for my brother's education. When he returned, he would take up a curate's position with Uncle Everett and eventually become the Everstow vicar. Traditionally, the second son of the family always took on the role.

I felt at a loss without Gray and wandered the corridors and gardens aimlessly. Everywhere I looked, I recalled happy times and couldn't shake the feeling of loneliness. Miss Young distracted me with travel plans.

Spencer arranged our journey and sent the rail tickets. In a few weeks, we planned to travel to Yorkshire to meet his family. I looked forward to seeing my fiancé again and to get away from home.

"Please don't make any wedding plans while I'm away," I instructed Mama one morning. I managed to enter her chambers ahead of Charlotte and was seated at her side when my sister-in-law arrived.

I had contrived to arrive ahead of her by skipping breakfast. Jane greeted me with a huge grin and called for double portions of the morning fare. Rarely did I have the opportunity to eat a meal with Mama. She gladly accepted my company.

"Oh, you're here already," Charlotte snapped, entering briskly.

"Miss Young and I leave for Yorkshire shortly. I wanted to spend time with Mama before we departed," I firmly responded.

"Well..." My sister-in-law seemed speechless for a moment. "I will return this afternoon, Mama, and we shall have our tete-a-tete. I do so enjoy our time together." Turning swiftly on her heels, she marched away.

I breathed a sigh of relief and turned back to my mother. I spoke glowingly about Spencer and my eagerness to meet his family.

"I don't think you should set such great store on that young man, Priscilla," Mama suddenly stated. "I don't believe I like him all that much."

"Oh, but why, Mama?" I asked, grasping her frail hands. "Papa likes him, and you haven't met him yet. Remember you were under the weather while he was here and didn't get to meet him."

"All the same, Priscilla." Mama shrugged. "I heard he stood you up over a dinner engagement recently. I don't believe that is very gentlemanly."

"Where did you hear that?" I gasped, my thoughts flying immediately to Lottie. "You mustn't listen to Lottie, Mama. Spence's brother broke his leg in a riding accident. His family asked him to come home."

Mama sank back against her cushions with a pensive look on her face. She remained silent for a few moments. Then she asked me to refill her teacup. I took it from her and replenished it.

"Spencer is very kind, Mama, and he is tenderhearted," I stated warmly. "I have never met anyone quite like him. He is always courteous to me, and he is very eager to meet you. When he returns, I will bring him to meet you immediately."

"Certainly," Mama responded, but she continued to sound vague.

I remained in her chamber for most of the day. I read from 'Wuthering Heights,' but my voice seemed to drone in my ears. Although I immensely enjoyed the novel, my heart was not in it. I wondered why Mama held a dim view of Spencer's personality. She acted dismissive when I spoke about him.

Placing my finger in the novel to hold my place, I mentioned my fiancé again. I tried to build him up by describing the kindnesses he had shown me. Softly, I spoke of the love we shared and the many subjects we had in common.

Mama nodded complacently. She hung on to my words, and a smile played gently across her lips. Memories of her courtship with Papa flooded her mind. Wistfully, she recalled the early days of her romance and the thrill of Papa's proposal.