Getaway Car

Shadows in a Faded Light

January had been pretty miserable. She hadn't realized how much she texted Travis until she couldn't anymore. But it was for the best, she told herself. Better to get through this sting now, than let it go further and be catastrophic later. Taylor's publicist had planted a few "anonymous" tips that the two had parted amicably, citing schedule challenges. That seemed to be enough for the breakup story.

Taylor's phone buzzed with the text message, "I know you're in town. Our spot tonight? I miss you."

She groaned loudly to her cats, draped over her couch, head buried in a pillow. "God, I'm going to do it, aren't I? I am. Dammit," she said aloud to her empty apartment.

Taylor had barely left her apartment all of January. Blake got the full rundown of what happened and had visited a few times in an effort to get Taylor out of this funk. Taylor called it her Cat Lady Spinster Era. She watched TV, drank wine, and took photos of her cats. She was barely writing music, which was unusual for her. Usually after a breakup ("Not a real breakup!" she told herself), songwriting was a creative outlet, but lately she just felt muted.

Taylor looked back at her phone, and rolled off the couch onto the floor. "This is a bad idea," she said, face planted on the floor. All the same, she responded with a text message that read "fine" and headed upstairs to get dressed.

A few hours later, Taylor was sneaking into a neighborhood bar she frequented for its privacy. Her security was able to stay under the radar, and the owner always let her come in through the back. She made her way to an enclosed booth in the darkest corner, lit only by a flickering candle.

"Darling," a voice cooed from the shadows.

"Matty," Taylor said shortly, sliding in.

"Still? How many times do I have to apologize? And you can't be that mad if you're here," Matty Healy said, exasperated.

Taylor had felt betrayed by the things Matty had said about her, her friends, and even her mom, for God's sake. He'd insisted it was just jokes with his mates, but his intent didn't make it any less hurtful. At this moment though, Taylor felt this is what she deserved. Her life just couldn't do long term relationships; it always got to be too much. Her ex Joe had loved her, but he couldn't stomach her level of fame, and she wasn't willing to give up the career she'd worked tirelessly for. Should she have stepped back from her career? Stopped touring? Love takes sacrifice; should she have sacrificed that side of herself? It meant too much to her though, she couldn't. So here she was with Matty Healy. He was an asshole and she suspected she was an asshole. "A perfect miserable match," she thought.

"I need a drink for this," Taylor waved over a staff member to put in a drink order. It arrived quickly.

"Cheers to the end of that brute!" Matty clinked her glass.

"What?" she asked.

"Jack told me it was all an act; you ARE a mastermind. I mean, I know I'm persona non grata, but Lord, you couldn't find anyone better than HIM? A big, dense American football player? What did you talk about? I'm surprised people even believed it! Like that would ever work. Everyone knows you like a London boy. Henry Cavill wasn't available?" Matty laughed.

Normally, this would have had Taylor fuming, but all her fight was gone. "Yeah," she started sadly, "Travis was nice though."

"Well sure, it's easy to be nice when you have the IQ of a golden retriever. But none of that matters now. You're here," he brought her hand up to his mouth and kissed it. 

The night continued as it usually did with Matty; he'd tell her all about his tour, new music he was writing, whatever esoteric '60s French film he'd seen recently. This is why she'd agreed to meet him; she couldn't talk about herself right now and she knew he wouldn't ask. She could only get progressively drunker and listen to him try to explain his super obscure musical inspirations to her. At least she was numb to it now.

It must have been almost 3 a.m. when Matty leaned in to kiss her. Taylor had zoned out and wasn't sure what he'd just said that would warrant this. She let it happen, although passively. She knew this was what he'd expected, and she'd thought with enough drinks she'd be into him again, but nope.

"I'm gonna head home," she said, pulling away.

"Want me to join you?" he asked cheekily.

"No," Taylor responded, not amused. She waved over her security team to pull the car around to the back.

Offended, Matty said, "You're still punishing me?"

"No, I'm just over this," she waved vaguely toward Matty and headed out to the waiting car. Drunk in the back of the car, she cried like a baby coming home from the bar. "God, AGAIN?" she sobbed.