Finding the Sun

Chapter 9

Aster could feel them staring at her. Jessica and her father. They had all just gotten ice cream together, Aster got orange sherbet, and laughed at her father getting rum and raisin, which is a classic old person flavour.

But now, standing in some clothing store within the mall feeling their gazes on her back, Aster realized she hadn't gotten out of addressing her wardrobe like she thought she had.

Profilers, she thought, annoyed. If this were someone else, they probably would've thought it was odd and forgotten about it. But Aster was sure that Aaron was convinced she was hiding something. To be fair, she was, but Aster knew that he was probably thinking it was either drugs or self-harm. Aster couldn't disprove this unless she used the mist to alter herself, but she really didn't want to do that. Logically, Aster knew that it shouldn't be this big of a deal for her, but something was preventing her from bringing herself to do it.

During the war with Kronos, it was found out after the fact that Luke Castellan had spies in Camp Half-Blood. But what very few people knew was that Camp Half-Blood had a spy too. Not even Percy, the demi-god of the prophecy, knew that Chiron had sent Aster to work undercover on The Princess Andromeda, Luke's main headquarters.

Chiron had debated asking a camper to pretend to defect to Kronos's army, using their real identity. But he believed the risks to be too great. His greatest worry was what would happen after the war, win or lose. If Camp Half-Blood won, what if a surviving demi-god in Kronos's army wanted revenge on the spy? If they lost, then the spy would be killed regardless, outed as a traitor.

So, Chiron had asked Aster. He knew she was the demi-god with the most control over the mist, and she would be able to disguise herself easily. Aster agreed, wanting to do whatever she could to save her home and her friends. So she spent years leading up to the final battle, going in between her own skin and someone else's, hiding it all from her friends. The longer Aster filled this role, the harder it got to separate herself from her fake identity. It felt like her very being was being split apart. It got harder, and harder each time. Puting the mist over herself felt like putting on a funeral shroud, and by the time the final battle came around Aster could hardly keep up the disguise for longer than an hour.

It took a huge toll on her emotionally. Aster had to make connections, friends, in Kronos's army. She climbed the ranks in order to be privy to important information, but lying that complexly for so long changed her. Even though she stayed loyal to Camp the entire time, she knew the betrayal felt by people she knew in Kronos's army would have hurt.

She never got to recover from this, instead only having barely a year before she was thrown into the events of the Giant War.

As she stood there contemplating her options, she knew she couldn't bring herself to change anything about herself in that way ever again. She lost too much of herself, and she wasn't willing to do it again, even on a small scale.

So now, what to do? It's only been a few days, that couldn't be that suspicious. Really, Aster was shocked that this might become a big deal. I mean, would Aaron really care that much about her wardrobe choices? They were a little odd for summer but, it was going to get colder soon, and then he would probably forget about it.

Oh Gods, she told herself, I'm making this a much bigger deal than it is. I mean, he really hasn't said anything at all. Come on Aster, you're going crazy reading into it.

It was true, Aaron really hadn't said anything directly, and probably wouldn't anytime soon. Not unless he felt he should be immediately concerned about the situation. So for now, he would watch her turn down all of Jessica's summer, frilly, colourful clothes that most teenage girls would love, and pretend to believe that it just wasn't Aster's style. Who knows, maybe he would be right.