Beyond the Iris: A Stargate Story

Chapter 15

Daniel

"I took care of it," Jack started, "Hammond's on board. None of this gets out. On the record you were hurt, Dr. Fraiser did her best and 'divine intervention,' stepped in. How many times have you been brought back from the dead now? Six? Off the record, Owens in there used a piece of unpermitted tech to perform a banned procedure. Thank god she did, or else," he gave me a knowing look. "But, it was tech that she had personally managed to get banned from use. Takes balls I'll give her that."

I was pacing outside of the medical bay listening to Jack clean up this mess for me. That's all we ever seemed to do, clean up each other's messes. But this time, this time it shouldn't have happened. I should be in that bed, not her. I was already discharged, Janet said my body healed like nothing happened. I woke up and saw Teal'c carrying her limp body out like she was a rag doll.

"Do you need some water Daniel? A seat maybe?" Sam was trying to keep my mind busy, and I appreciated that but nothing would clear my head. I was furious, this shouldn't be happening.

"Someone should have stopped her." I muttered under the sound of my footsteps.

"Uh, yeah, well we were a little busy taking out Goa'uld spies within the SGC, which is another fun bit of paperwork I'm going to have to do." Jack snapped back.

"I'm currently doing," Sam sighed typing away on the laptop balancing on her knee.

"Thank you, paperwork that Carter has to do. For me." He made an exaggerated show of pointing to her and then leaned against the wall. "Look Daniel, she'll be fine. Fraiser is the best of the best, and she knew what she was doing. We tried to pull her back but at that point there was no stopping her."

The doors opened and Janet walked out rubbing her forehead with the sleeve of her smock, the toll of the past day showing evidence in her exhausted expression.

"She's okay. I'm going to have her stay for the next few hours and we'll monitor her heart, other than that she's clear to go home."

"I'll get you a cup of coffee doc," Jack gave her an appreciative smile and took off down the hall.
She nodded a thanks and turned back to me. "How are you feeling Daniel? Any pain, cramping, heart palpitations?"

"I'm fine, I feel completely normal again for the most part."

"You're clear to go home as well then, I suggest not drinking any caffeine the next few days or doing extensive cardio. I'm not sure what or how long the side effects from the," she paused and looked down the hall, "incident may have." I gave her my sincerest thanks and she continued explaining that because we don't know how the cuff worked she didn't want Eleanor or I to be physically near each other until Monday. I took that as her way of telling me to go home and rest. As much as I wanted to be the one to make sure Eleanor got home safely, this gnawing feeling that I needed to distance myself from her grew. Sometimes I felt as if my very existence seemed to be an omin for those that I cared deeply for in my life and I couldn't let her fall prey to that.

Eleanor

Three weeks had passed since I watched Daniel come back to life before me. The next work day he had set a box of apple fritters on my desk and a thank you note alongside it. The irony was not lost on me. I had gone into General Hammond's office with my letter of resignation for the situation and he rejected it saying that it was unneeded. That it would never be brought up again, and as reckless as it was, that was the heart of the SGC. Apparently Jack O'Neill himself was the first one to stand up for me and ask the general not to take harsh punishment against my actions. I left feeling uncomfortable about it though. Thinking over it again, I don't know that I would have done this for anyone else. It is assumed by those who know that I did this because I have some upstanding drive to help, that I have a compulsion for saving someone else. It was only because I loved him, and in that moment it was happening I knew I would trade my own life for his in a heartbeat. I would have done anything to bring him back to me. That didn't make me a hero, that just made me reckless. But, I would do it all over again.
I asked that the cuff be out of my possession. I saw the way Dr. Yoke had become so addicted to its power, and the rush of dopamine I had felt was indescribable. I wouldn't allow myself to fall into the same habits. The general agreed that it should be sent to Area-51, but until then it would be put back in our system with a two person authentication code to gain access to it.
Daniel hadn't spoken to me alone since he came home from England. I saw him in his office with the door shut, he asked other people to get files for him or through email, he seemed to be avoiding me and it stung but I just convinced myself it was because everything we had done was a mistake to him. I was a coworker, and in a moment of weakness we both sought out comfort in one another. The feelings I had for him were clearly stronger than anything he reciprocated. I continued daily with my work as if nothing happened.

Cleared to return to morning combat training with Teal'c three days a week, he claimed I was vastly improving but I couldn't tell. My lovely neighbor mentioned her son was in town again but I lied and said I was seeing someone. In a way I felt like I was, as delusional and one sided as it seemed there was no point in wasting anyone else's time. Especially after working here and seeing that life was so short, it could be cut off in a single breath.

I was on my way to the parking lot with Lonnie when I saw Daniel speaking with members of SG-8 about possible routes to take toward the coordinates he found for what he believed to be the remote crystal they were looking for. He glanced over at me and I waved sheepishly. He went back to his conversation and Lonnie bowed me in the side as we continued walking.

"Oof that was rough. Lovers quarrel?" He pressed the elevator button and I wrapped my coat around my shoulders shrugging him off.

"I don't know what you're going on about." I muttered. "He has a lot of stress to deal with, clearly, and we're not." I let out a puff of air and shared a look with my friend. "We're just not. We're colleagues, I'd like to think friends even. That's it." We stepped inside the elevator and started our ascent.

"You give him too much credit. All SG-1. They think they're better than us. They're number 1." He rolled his eyes. 

"Busy day on your end?" I changed the subject as the doors opened up to the crowded rotunda out. 

"Somewhat. Went off world yesterday though, planet had like miniature bears. They were picking berries to use as paint for their caves. Very cute. Except the berries had these noxious fumes that made everyone vomit before we got back to the gate." I nodded in agreement and he cleared his throat. "If you need to talk, vent or whatever I'm here for you."

"I know, thanks Lon." I gave him a quick hug and went towards my car.

I could live my life knowing that I was in love with a man who didn't love me in return, and that was fine. I could cope with that, I could love someone from a distance pretending for the rest of time not to. But, I brought him back from the dead, risked my own life in the process, and the least I could do was know where this new animosity was coming from.