♡ Bungo Stray Dogs oneshots ♡

♡ Dazai's diary - 08/10 ♡

A/N: This is my first diary oneshot, so lmk what you think of it! I don't usually write this way so forgive me if it's not what you were expecting from this book <3

Today's mission was such a bust.

First of all, Chuuya utterly humilated me infront of all my suboordinates by making me ride on the back of his ridiculous motorcycle... What's worse, I had to actually TOUCH his disgusting self since he was going so fast i almost flew off. Of all the ways to die, falling off the back of that slimy idiot's bike has got to be the most embarrassing.

When we finally got to the scene, the mission was unbearably boring. I was supposed to be negotiating with a formidable gang leader, but of course that slug had to go and steal my thunder straight away! Those gang buffoons starting shooting before the negotiation could even begin... It was slightly entertaining watching the kid beat their asses though.

After they'd all been disposed of, I was even MORE bored. After all, slug never talks to me when we're on missions ( ',_ゝ') He truly is mean to me!

Luckily, his distaste towards me only made harassing him more fun; silly slug even tried to chase me! All that did was cure my boredom, so it was well worth all the punches he gave me once I was caught.

Neither of us really wanted to go back and report what happened to the boss... But as always, I managed to trick that dumb kid with one of the bets he can never seem to turn down. I challenged him to a game in the arcade, loser has to face the boss when we get back to headquarters. Chuu' was as cocky as always of course, so beating him was easy. All i had to do was subtly manipulate him into losing mario kart :3

UGHHHH even writing this is making me feel weird again... But I guess I should note it down since it pissed me off so much.

Some pink haired brat walked in whilst me and Chuuya were having our little competition. She seemed to think that he liked her. It took a lot of self control not to laugh my ass of at the sight of her clinging to him! I don't know what, but something about her really ticked me off. Maybe I'm actually a little protective of that slug, who knows?

Either way, the whole situation made me feel really gross. I mean c'mon, being forced to actually WORRY about that baby is rather out of character for me. Hopefully I'll never see that girl again.... If I do, I don't know if I'll manage to stop myself from 'accidentally' lopping off her bratty little head! Oopsie! (^o^)

All in all, it wasn't too bad of a day. I got to annoy Chuuya for hours, no amount of fangirls with weird hair colours are gonna make that any less entertaining. It's 4am as I'm writing this, I might go shove a stink bomb under his door or something and force him to stay up with me. Even though we hate eachothers guts, we have this weird habit of being the first person that the other goes to... Oh well, our relationship is nothing if not contrary!

- Dazai Osuma (15)

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