"Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand."
After one year..
Paradis, Philippines..
It's been a year but for Sister Adeline everything is still fresh what happened in Portugal. Nag-palipat siya ng lugar matapos ang isang pangyayaring hindi niya siguro makakalimutan sa buong buhay niya. Father Vladimir killed his self after two days since she followed him on the church office and pleasured him. Uminom ang pari ng isang boteng sleeping pills na siyang naging dahilan ng pagka-overdose nito at tuluyan na ngang hindi na nagising. Nalaman na lang nila ang tungkol doon kinatanghalian ng hindi bumaba ang pari sa kuwarto nito at hindi umatend ng misa dahil pinuntahan ito ng isang pari sa silid nito. At alam niya kung bakit ito nagka-gano'n at sinisisi pa din niya ang sarili sa nangyari sa pari.
She's the one who should blame on his death, dahil alam niyang nakonsensiya ang pari sa namagitan sa kanilang dalawa at sa ginawa nitong pag-payag. Hindi nito matanggap na pumayag ito ng gano'n lang kahit pa puwede naman siya nitong itaboy ng mga oras na 'yon kung tutuusin. She's so sure he didn't died peacefully because her conscience are hunting her until now. Pero ano bang magagawa niya? Ang alam sa monasteryo ay nagpakamatay si Father Vladimir dahil may dinidibdib itong personal na problema, dahil 'yon ang sabi sa kanila ng mga mas nakakataas sa kanila. Pero bago kase 'yon ginawa ng pari ay nagkausap pa silang dalawa.
Father Vladimir talked to her, he said that she's not a God server but there's a demon on her mind and body. Na dapat hindi daw siya nagkakalat ng lagim ng loob sa monasteryo at lalong-lalo na sa loob ng simbahan pero ginagawa niya pa din. Hindi niya 'yon pinatulan dahil para sa kanya masaya na siyang natikman ito. Pero ang magpakamatay ito ng na kailanman ay hindi sumagi sa kanyang isipan at hanggang ngayon ay usigin siya ng kanyang konsensya ang patuloy na gumugulo sa isip niya. She just want to taste him, to feel his body against her kaya ang umabot sa ganitong klaseng sitwasyon ang hindi niya alam na aabot siya. So after a month since he passed away she decided to leave Portugal and the monastery she live in for almost seven years.
Dito siya sa isang monasteryo sa Pilipinas nagpalipat, sa Paradis kung saan pinilit niyang magbago. Peace comes from the presence of God, and not the absence of problems. And this time she want her faith to be stronger like before, she's hoping that God can restore what her pride, conscience. and heart had wreck because of the death of Father Vladimir. Dahil hindi pa naman huli ang lahat dahil kaya pa naman niya sigurong magbago at pipilitin niya talagang gawin 'yon.
Sister Adeline opened again her diary, wala man siyang hilig sa pagsusulat pero noong mamatay si Father Vladimir ay dito niya lahat nilalagay ng nararamdaman niya sa araw-araw. And this is will be the last time he wrote for him. Dahil pagkatapos nito ay itatapon na din niya ang diary ng sa gano'n ay hindi na bumalik-balik pa ang alaala ng nagawa niyang kasalanan. At tama na ang isang buong taon na paninisi sa kanyang sarili sa nangyari dito.
To Father Vladimir,
It's been a year since you were gone but your death is still hunting me. And I promised today after one year since you passed away I will let all the thoughts and pain running on my mind about you and will continue my life devoting my life to Jesus Christ. I have been repenting it every single moment and day, and sorry will never be enough for your life to come back in this world. I want to take all my sins to Jesus, accept his forgiveness and get back on being a God server and a good example of nun to others.
I became a dangerous person once in my life, the demons and I really get along just fine. I forgot that I'm dedicating myself to be a good person, to serve the Lord and to be preacher. And if you really can hear me now I want to say, I'm really really sorry, I brought you into the darkness side of the world. I shouldn't brought you there because I didn't knew you will never came back. There's a time if I looked myself in the mirror demons looked closer than they appeared. And maybe you are right, there's a demon live inside me but my faith is still in Jesus Christ who are my salvation. I am once a sinner and I will tried my best not to sin again and repeat those things I had done with you. And this time I promise I will never react impulsively and focus on my dedication to God.
Lord clean my heart and forgive my mistakes, lead me to your kindness, help me to wipe all the sin I did. That new life for me may come in Jesus Christ Amen.
Sister Adeline,
After reading her own letter for him she closed again her diary and looked on the cross in the middle of the aisle. Nasa loob kase siya ng simbahan dahil plano din niyang ipagdasal ang kaluluwa ni Father Vladimir dahil death anniversary nga nito ngayong araw. She gave a prayer for him before she stood up and went on the side of the church and went inside of the confessional booth. Alam niya kaseng may pari doon ng ganoong oras at gusto niya sa unang pagkakataon ay i-confess niya ang lahat ng nangyari sa kanya at mga nagawang kasalanan.
And she did, she confessed all the sins she made when she was in Portugal and she felt the relieved after she cried and confessed all her sins. Wala siyang tinago dahil ikinuwento niya talaga lahat sa pari na kausap ang mga nagawa niyang kasalanan. Kung paano minsan sa buhay niya ay naligaw siya ng landas at ginusto niya ang pakikipagtalik at matikman mismo ng lalake. At pagkatapos ng mahigit isang oras na pakikipag-usap sa pari ay muli siyang nagdasal at saka niya pinag-sindihan ng puting kandila si Father Vladimir. And now after one year she can finally say she's a guilt free because she believe God is with her.
Pabalik na sana ako sa monasteryo na tinutuluyan ko na katabi lang din ng simbahan ng makasalubong ko naman ang dalawang pari na agad ko din syempreng binati.
"Good morning.." I greeted the two priest nicely. Tulad sa monasteryo sa Portugal ay iba't-iba ding nasyolidad ng mga pari at madre ang narito sa Paradis kaya naman hindi naman ako nanibago ng mapadpad dito at makisama sa kanila.
"Buen dia Sister Adeline.." The Portuguese-Filipino priest Father Simon Agua greeted her back, kung saan ito mismo ang pari na pinag-kumpisalan ng madre kanina.
Last update for this week, ulit tapos na po si General and chapter 17 na po kami kay Amour! Pm niyo po ko sa fb page sa gustong sumali do'n! And pay to read stories po ang nasa vip group at Patreon. Happy weekend!
#maribelatentastories
