XLVIII

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“I’m gonna be very real with you,” Seungmin slurred as they waited for Chan to come home, “but your brother and I kinda know each other. From before.”

“O-okay?”

Seungmin flushed. “We didn’t part on the best of terms.”

Felix’s lips pressed into a thin line. “I wouldn’t worry.”

“Mm?”

They could hear the key turning in the front door, metal scratching metal.

“Chan… he doesn’t….” Felix bit his lips. “Remember.”

“Huh?”

“He doesn’t remember anything.”

Seungmin’s eyes go wide with something akin to pain, before his face goes deceptively blank. They hear the front door bang open and Chan shuffle in.

“Hey Lixie.” Chan calls out. “Did you start dinner without me?”

“Yeah, sorry hyung.” Felix shoots Seungmin a look, motioning for him to follow his lead. “One of my friends is staying with us, is that okay?”

“A friend?” Chan hangs up his jacket, his voice getting closer as he walks down the hall. “Who?”

When he appears in the doorway, he freezes, his eyes on Seungmin. It’s momentary, almost unnoticeable, but Felix sees it.

The crack in the armor.

“This is Seungmin.” He introduces.

“I’m Chan.” They shake hands.

Chan’s smile wavers a little, and Seungmin looks positively miserable. Felix clears his throat, looking away.

“I’ll get you a plate.” He says to Chan, patting his brother on the shoulder as he ducks out of the room, leaving them alone. “Coffee or tea?”


When he comes back into the room, his eyes dart in between the two men there, sitting on opposite sides of the room. Chan looks a little lost, a little confused, like he wasn’t sure what just transpired.

Seungmin’s eyes are red-rimmed and puffy, and he scoots towards Felix when the blond sits down.

“Can Seungie stay with us, hyung?” Felix asks again, and Chan startles.

“Hm? O-oh, yeah. Of course.”

Felix frowns. He’s never seen his brother like this before. Not since the wipe. He wants to ask Seungmin about it, but the younger looks so downright miserable that he refrains, stashing the questions for a later date.

“Thanks Chan!” He chirps instead, faux cheer diffusing the tension. “He’s bigger than me, I’ll borrow some of your clothes, okay?”

Chan nods, almost mechanically. His chopsticks dangle in between his fingers uselessly.

When Seungmin gets up to follow Felix out, Chan’s eyes follow him almost automatically, like he couldn’t look away.

“Good night hyung.” Felix calls out as they leave the room.

Seungmin just bows.


“You’re not gonna ask?” The brunet boy says the moment they’re in the hall.

Felix shrugs, digging through his brother’s closet to grab a bigger shirt and some sweatpants. Chan’s closet was exclusively black; a rarity even in their time.

“If you wanted to tell me, you would. We’ve known each other for maybe 3 hours. I don’t expect much.” It’s strange, how reasonable it all seemed now, when had this happened some months earlier, he’d be searching for answers like there was no tomorrow.

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