Silly P03m B00k

Empty

Empty

I feel empty
I feel like I amount to nothing around other people
I don't feel same, nor here
But I don't feel like I'm anywhere else either

I feel empty
As if I hold no dear to anyone
As if in the midst of a moment when I space out, it's like I'm not there

That's when I start to realize I'm not important, to anyone
I can't say that I'm unimportant to them though because that would put words in their mouths
But
I'm unimportant
If I was important
Then I would feel significant
But I never feel significant

I feel empty
Where I roam I am nothing amidst a shell
I could never be anything bigger
I'm not my own person
And I'm too stubborn to change anything

I just sit and listen
To those around me
I observe
But when it's my turn to talk I hardly let out a mutter I feel numbe constantly no matter how much I smile it feels so forced
I don't feel like my own person

I am not significant
When I zone out in front of my friends and they go about their business
It's like I'm not there
I've heard from some that when I'm not here their days are all the same

I am not significant
To myself
To my sisters
To my mother and father
To my teachers
To my friends
To anyone

I'm just another extra person
And if I never existed
Was never born
Nothing in the timelines would change except for me not being here

My friends would just have one less friend
My sisters would just have one less sister and one less headache
My parents would have less problems, but they would have more money to pay off our house

I am not significant
I never will be
I want to be significant
But....
I can't hold significance
To others
If I can't hold significance
To myself
I can't complain
About feeling insignificant
Because
Everyone else feels that same
So when I bring it up, they all look at me and say
"Me too"
And then brush it off

So, if I feel insignificant
And everybody else feels insignificant too
Then it all cancels it out right?

That makes everybody actually significant?
Including me?
So technically, I am significant?
But I'm not at the same time if I don't add the factor that everyone else feels insignificant?
But I can't be.

I do nothing for anyone
My presence
My existence
Does nothing for anyone
I can't complain about being significant
Because my complaints never amount to anything
It's always
Automatically
Irrelevant

I

Am

Just

Here.