Unimportant [BillFord fanfiction]

Part 5

Bill was back asleep, and Mabel put him in different poses and took pictures.

Bill was a heavy sleeper.

"Mabel, leave him alone," Dipper ratted her out.
"Yeah, quit messing with the demon spawn," Stan said.
"Aww, but he looks so cute when he's sleeping!" Mabel pouted, putting Bill back down.

"Grunkle Stan, what's for dinner?" Mabel asked.
"Fend-Ford-Yourself Night," Stan shrugged.
"Can you not add my name to that?" Ford asked.
"Nope."

-

Bill woke once again, stretching and yawning a bit as he did such. He cracked his knuckles a bit, making a loud popping sound, which caught everyone's attention.

"Well, now that you're awake, lemme show you the pictures I took!" Mabel smiled,  coming up with a camera.
"Okay..?" Bill took it and looked through.

Noticing what she did, he sighed with an exasperated look. "Seriously?" He looked up at her, raising one end of his eyebrow. "Yes, seriously!" Mabel laughed.

"Just roll with it," Ford said, sipping some Pitt Cola and watching the TV.
"Fine.."

Bill watched the TV as well, then groaned in annoyance. "I'm bored! Is there anything interesting to do?!" Bill slumped flat down.
"We have Twister," Mabel said.
"I'm not that flexible. Pros and Cons to being 2D."

"Hmm... Don't Wake Stalin?"
"ADHD."
"Uh..." Mabel thought for a bit but didn't have a clue.
"How's about you kids go out and adventure or somethin'? Us adults'll hang out here. So you two can hit the deck, 'kay?" Stan suggested.
"Alright!" Dipper said excitedly, taking Mabel's wrist and running out of the house.

"... Can I swear now?" Bill asked, sitting up. Stan nodded.
"Fuck yes!" Bill cheered.
"Anyways-"
"'Anyways' isn't a word. It's 'Anyway'." Ford interrupted.

...

"Anyway, how's about some fun? The kids won't be back for a while, knowing Dipper," Stan implied, heading to the kitchen.

"What're you doing?" Bill asked. Stan quickly returned, setting a bottle of vodka on the table.
Ford eyed it. "Are you sure this is a good idea?" Stan nodded.

"Bill," Stan called him over.
Bill walked up to the table and stood on a chair. "What is it?"
Stan passed over the vodka bottle.
"Do you have the ability to drink it all?" Stan asked. "And I mean all."

Bill looked at it. "Pretty sure, yeah," he responded with confidence.
"Do it."

"Oh... O... Okay.." He took the bottle. Ford and Stan watched.
"Can you not stare at me like that? Blink?" Bill asked. They made sure not to make strong eye contact but still watched.

Bill drank it all, then shoved it deep in his eyemouth and licking the rest from the inside.
He then pulled it away. A couple of seconds later, the flavor kicked in, and it burned.

"AH! YOU DID THIS ON PURPOSE!" Bill held his eyemouth, and Stan laughed. "Nah, I didn't plan this, but it's still funny!"

Ford tossed the now empty bottle, then came back, now seeing the commotion, chuckling.

"It's not funny! It actually hurts!" Bill shouted, rubbing his eye.

-

The next thing they knew, Bill was betting with Stan and drinking almost all the alcohol in the cabinet.
As of now, Bill was lying on the floor, absolutely wasted. But at least he had some human paper money.

"Stanley, I think he needs a break," Ford said, looking down at Bill.
"Naw, 'm fine! Never bed-better!" Bill tried speaking, but the gears in his head weren't working.

"I don't believe that," Ford responded, picking Bill up by the sides and holding him up.
"Can't even believe I'm saying this, but you need a nap."
"Nauuurrrrruh!" Bill whined.
"What?"
"Naaaaaaauuuuuuuuuurrrrrrhhhhhhuuuhhhh!" Bill continued. "Naurrrrr! Nauruhhhh! Nrauurrr!"
"Bill, what are you even saying?"

"Nraurrrrurhhhhuhffffrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"
"You know what? Not even gonna ask."
"hhhhuuuuurrrrruuuuuaaaaaaN!" Bill spoke backward.

Bill continues this while Ford carries him to the basement. I mean lab...
Bill's body slumps with every step, seeming to be half asleep, already.

By the time Ford was in the lab, Bill was asleep. Ford laid him down on the couch, putting a thin blanket over him.

Ford saw it. Maybe Mabel was right about Bill looking cute when he was asleep...

Ford gently smiled before getting up and leaving back upstairs.