The Shadows In Our Hearts

10: Within Chaos, There is More Chaos

Morana knew she needed time alone to process the recent events and feelings. She couldn't turn to anyone else for help, as the issue was too personal and complicated.

Her thoughts were racing a mile a minute as she tried to make sense of everything that had happened. She was still in denial about her feelings that Prince Vokun had exposed and his true intentions towards her. The situation had become a battle in her mind, and she knew she needed time to reflect and gather her thoughts without distractions.

So she changed into her work kimono and packed a small bag Shimazu lent her. She followed the irrigation channel deeper into the forest behind the Norimasu property. She needed time alone to reflect on herself and understand what to do. Shimazu could only let her walk away. This internal struggle was something she could only unravel.

Morana followed the irrigation channel until she came upon a relatively small river. The river flowed with a gentle current, and the sound of the water trickling over the rocks was soothing to Morana's ears. She sat down next to the edge of the river and took a moment to gather her thoughts.

She took a few deep breaths, closed her eyes, and tried to focus on her inner emotions and feelings. She had a lot to sort through and knew it would take time to process everything fully. Some of that scared her. 

Morana closed her eyes and let the sound of the river wash over her, allowing the calmness of the moment to pass away some of her stress. Yet the peacefulness never remained as flashes of her past caught her off guard. It left her in fear as she couldn't find the peace she sought.

The young samurai looked around frantically, searching for any source of comfort or peace within the peaceful surroundings. She had hoped that the river would be her escape from the chaos of the recent events, but it was not to be. Morana felt overwhelmed by the fear and uncertainty that were flooding back over her. She felt lost and helpless and didn't know what to do next. Morana was at a loss. What was she supposed to do now? She had hoped to find some answers in her time alone, but now she was left with only more questions.

Her mind had wandered into a dark place as she gripped her hair. The what-ifs flooded her mind as she questioned whether her life was worth being alive. Would her clan still benefit from her death? She didn't know if there was a ritual that needed to be conducted to revive the ancient dragon. If she just died, would that still wake the ancient dragon? Or would it not? The thoughts kept coming, the questions left unanswered as she didn't know what to do. The uncertainty left her in a place of despair. Without guidance on what to do or where to go, she just wanted everything to stop.

Out of the chaos of her mind, a repetitive slapping noise caught her attention. Curious, Morana stood to her feet to investigate the sound. It was better than letting her thoughts drag her deeper into the dark pit it was pulling her into. She left her bag hidden underneath a large rock that she had sat on. The sounds came further down the river as she encountered a familiar person.

"Yamada-oyaji?" Morana called out as she looked and saw the retired samurai by the river's edge throwing what appeared to be mud or clay on a large flat stone and then picking things out. A headband pulled his hair back, his yellow kimono was made of durable material, and a string wrapped around his arms held back his oversized sleeves. 

The older man looked surprised to see the young samurai by the river. He had a welcoming presence about him as he beckoned Morana towards him. "Hello, Morana. What brings you to the river?" 

Morana sniffed as she made her way to his side, using her sleeve to wipe away her tears. Yamada could see that she was mentally exhausted. "Um, I was hoping the river would help me, but nothing in this stupid world will help me."