Taciturn Love

Chapter 6

It's been a week since I last saw her, after that night that I went to her house. I asked Mom for a break and told her I needed to go back to Amsterdam for a post academic activity. Hindi naman siya nag duda, or did She but didn't bother to ask.

The moment I landed, I went to straight see Jen and we had s*x. I asked for it. I wanted to see if my body will respond the same way as how It reacted with Jessica.

I didn't get the answer that I wanted and it made me more anxious. I tried meeting new people as well but nothing worked. It's like I'm having an early erectile dysfunction at the age of twenty four. Damn it!

'Anong nangyayari sa'kin?' Yan ang isang lingo ko ng tanong sa sarili ko. I've had plenty of flings at hindi pa ako pumapalya. I'm always as 'hard' as a rock.

Napatingin siya sa cellphone niya na nasa side tablet ng tumunog ito. Agad niyang kinuha at tinignan kung sino ang nag message.

"Bro, asan ka? Bat hindi ka nagpapakita? Seen seen na lang tayo sa chat?" Tanong ni Riri.

"Anong nangyayari sayo Bro?" Sinundan naman ni Cal ng message ang chat ni Riri.

Binaba ko ang cellphone ko after ko mabasa ang chat nila sa GC. I just landed two hours ago and I don't have the strength to talk to anyone right now. I am mentally and physically drained with all the failed s*x and thinking that I did.

I was left with misery more than an answer. Sh*t!

I ghosted my friends when they asked for meet up. Hindi nila alam na wala ako sa bansa for a week. I don't know what got into me? I don't even know why I went to that house. Tss.

'This is not me. This is not me.' I kept repeating to myself. Nakuyom ko ang sarili kong mukha. 'Dahil sa isang babae? Ano bang meron sayo Jessica? F*ck!' Naibato niya ang isang unan sa sahig out of frustration.

*Flashback*

"Speak or I'll kiss you?" Tanong niya kay Jessica.

I can see the fear in her eyes even if She desperately tries to stay shut. I pinned her closer to the wall. Pilit niya akong nilalayo sakaniya ngunit mas malakas at matangkad ako kaya't nanaig ang bigat ko. Malakas ang loob ko dahil sa alak.

I know She can feel my now fully erected c*ck. 'Speak! Say something Jessica!' Sigaw ng isip ko. 'F*ck I want her!' Sigaw ng 'ano ko.'

I inched closer to her mouth, ready to kiss her. Her smell reminds me of Jasmine scent. My eyes went south and studied her breast, average but firm. Nawala ang kalasingan ko at napalitan ng lust, ready to devour her any moment.

"Have sex with me." Casual na tanong ko. Agad na nanlaki ang mga mata niya sa narinig. Her nose flaring but her lips remained sealed. She inhaled deeply and it sent thousand shivers in me as if I can hear her moaning in my ears.

F*ck! Eto na naman yung imaginations ko about her. 'Just have sex with her, it will cure your insanity Dee.' Sabi niya sa sarili. Para akong nalalasing hindi sa alak kundi sa amoy niya.

"Have sex with me Jessica." I repeated and inhaled the scent of her neck. F*ck I love the sound of her name.

'Have sex with me.' Nanlaki ang mata at tenga ko sa narinig ko mula kay Dee. Sinubukan kong diinan ang pagkaka kagat sa labi ko ng ilapit nito ang mukha niya sa labi ko. 'Nasisiraan na ata ito ng ulo. Basta basta na lang nag-aaya ng.. ng..' Hindi niya halos masabi ang salitang sex.

Una, hindi ako easy to get. Pangalawa, nilalaaan ko ang sarili ko kay Tyler. Pangatlo, wala akong alam sa gusto nitong mangyari at hindi din naman ako papayag.