platonic- having a close relationship in which there is no romance
that's what luke and rose were for years- best friends who would rather give up an organ before thinking about kissing one another.
until one day, the thought doesn't sound so terri...
"I've seen hard times, bad luck, all that in-between Sweetest of the sunflowers, yeah, you're the sun to me"
Song- "Sun to Me" by Zach Bryan
*highly recommend listening to the song that's in this chapter while reading the part it's mentioned at:)* _________________
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Luke's been staring at his ceiling fan going in circles for the last hour and a half, praying that sleep would take him under soon, but he's been very unlucky.
The unnecessary fight he picked with Rose earlier was lingering around him like smoke on his clothes. He couldn't get the sad look on her face out of his mind no matter what he tried to do.
He played it over again in his head about a hundred times, but couldn't figure out how or why he even took it out on her in the first place. It left the worst taste in his mouth, the nasty way he deflected his pain onto her.
She was coming to him about something she had clearly been torn up about, and he reacted like a child about it. He kicked her out because he couldn't handle a normal conversation with her, fuck- he's probably only pushed her into actually wanting to go to New York.
Luke rolls over to his side as his stomach lurches at the thought.
He wouldn't blame Rose at all if she decided to leave him and go to New York, heaven knows he's been completely undeserving of her over the last few months. But still, his greedy heart couldn't take it if she did leave him.
He doesn't want to be selfish, especially not with her, but he can't sit there and pretend that her going to New York wouldn't absolutely destroy him. His heart is infused within her chest, if she goes too far, then he'll start to painfully decay into something he won't be able to come back from.
She's his lifeline, his heartbeat, his Rose petal.
It's how it's always been since he got lucky enough to sit next to her in class when they were kids, and it's how it's always going to be. Right?
And as much as Luke wants to tie her up and keep her here himself, he needs to let Rose make this choice on her own. He can see the pros and cons of staying and leaving for her, but he can't sway her mind in any way or the guilt will eat him alive for it.
If she's going to stay, it needs to be because she's decided that's what's best for her, not because of what she thinks will make other people happy.
Luke's eyes drift over to the clock beside his bed, where it reads the unfortunate time in an angry red font. Almost three in the morning, and he's not even halfway tired enough to slip into a dreamless sleep. He groans as he thinks of how much his body will hate him tomorrow for staying up so late, especially with it being finals week at school.
