Enrolled in Epicness - A Baldur's Gate 3 Fanfic

3. Hot-Blooded

 Squeaky tore into the first ghoul with sharp talons and fierce loyalty, knocking it off Shadowheart. Then it smashed into the second undead. Not Astarion's first choice for an 'ally,' but the annoying owlbear cub had its uses. He stepped back, letting it wreak havoc, and turned to Shadowheart.

"My rapier's stuck in that ghoul's belly. Do you have any spare weapons?"

She healed a bleeding gash in her abdomen before answering him. "I'm fine, thanks for asking."

"Was that a yes or a no?"

She responded with a rude gesture, uncooperative as usual. With a sigh, Astarion reached for salvation inside his pockets... Nothing but a chunk of salami. How did that get in there?! Still, it felt wrong to let Tav's putrid pet steal all his glory. The ghoul with his sword in its gut was getting mauled by the owlbear, but the second rose to its feet, vengeance bursting from its feral eyes. Astarion swung the hardened meat slab at it, striking hard across the gaunt face. The ghoul wobbled, seemingly surprised by the garlicky weapon. He followed with the dagger, exploiting its confusion with a stab through the eye.

With a stilted grunt, the monster collapsed backward.

"BACK TO THE ABYSS!" Lae'zel said from nearby, cleaving another undead in half with her blade. The owlbear cub soon finished ripping the last apart. It squeaked happily at Astarion, proud of its violent deeds.

"Ugh, get over yourself," he said, rolling his eyes.

Shadowheart gave the feathered menace an adoring headpat. "You miss Tav, don't you?" she said in a coddling tone. "Don't worry, we'll find her."

"You're wasting your breath, darling—it doesn't understand."

Squeaky frowned beakishly at him.

"Don't give me that look; you know you don't."

"Oh, he does," Shadow said, fluffing up the big-eyed fiend. "Ignore the mean vampire. He's just hungry."

Astarion snorted at her. "Actually, I've already satisfied that craving."

"Oh?" The priestess stared curiously at him. "Found an astral boar?"

"Er, yes! A juicy one."

Squeaky gazed accusingly at him. Did it see through the lie?

"What are you looking at, hooter? Shadow, if this thing could, it would eat you as well."

"Let me use Speak with Animals." She drew out a thin vial, giving him a taunting stare, and drank it like a shot of whisky. Astarion palmed his face while she and the owlbear exchanged irritating noises.

"Squeaky says we are not food. We are friends."

"Lovely, darling. You've made your point—"

"He also says that you're a terrible liar."

Snarling, Astarion waved a dismissive hand, and another bright flash engulfed the animal. The next moment, it was gone.

"FOUL SORCERY!" Lae'zel shoved him out of nowhere. "The mark on your hand—what is that?"

Astarion retreated before her wrath. "It's from a friend."

"LIAR!"

"Yes, you have no friends," Shadow added with a snide smirk.

"I'll have you know, darling, that people all over Faerûn love me—some even write lewd stories about me."

The two women looked at each other—and burst into laughter.