infatuated. •lashton•

twelve

omg guys. FEMINIZATION. 😂👊

I always wanted to dress like a girl. I never wanted to be one, I just like the things they wear.

Like, why can't boys wear skirts and stuff if girls can wear pants?

If Ashton didn't want me when I didn't like who I was, maybe he'll like me when I'm happy with myself.

Calum doesn't know I like to dress like a girl. Fuck, no one does. Except my mum.

So, the weekend has went by, and instead of going to Ashton's party, mum and I went shopping.

People look at you really weird when you're a fifteen year old boy trying on girl clothes. But, oh well. It was expected.

"Are you sure you want to do this today? I mean it's the middle of the year. Everyone's used to you being 'Luke, the guy who wears black skinny jeans, band shirts and vans.' Are you sure you don't want to wait?"

"Mum, if I wait, then I'm going to get used to waiting. I'll wait until there's no more time to be who I want. I need to do this now, or I'll never be able to do it."

"You're right honey. You look great, and you'll rule those hallways!"

"Please, never say that mum."

"Ha-ha" she said sarcastically, "Now eat something and let's get you to school."

The top I was wearing doesn't fit me like it fits girls, but I knew it still looked good. And you're probably thinking 'he's going to fall on his face in those heels', but I've had practice.

I texted Calum and told him I have a surprise and he seems excited and clueless as to what the surprise could be.

I'm actually nervous that he will think I'm weird. I don't want to lose my best friend.

I walked into school and I could already feel everyone staring at me. No one at my school has ever done anything like this before, so I could understand their curiosity. And maybe, a little bit of judgement.

I walked to mine and Calum's locker. He was facing the other way looking at his phone.

"Calum." my voice was laced with nervousness.

Calum turned around really fast and said "Where's my - oh, okay"

His eyes were wide with shock.

"Hey, Calum.."

"How, um, how are you Lukey..?"

"Don't look at me like that, Calum."

"Like what?"

"You're judging me. I can literally feel it."

"Not a bad judge, it's just a 'different' judge. You look really hot actually."

"Calum, this is serious."

"I'm being serious! You look really good."

I smiled and opened my locker.

"You can explain later, please. Mariah needs me to do something. Bye Lukey, love you."

"Bye Cally"

I got my psychology book out of my locker and closed my locker.

"Holy damn."

OKAY SO IDK HOW YOU GUYS LIKE FEMININE LUKE. BUT YEAH. 😁

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