A Better Life

Enzymes never lie

The next morning I wake up to something tightening around my arm. I look to see Calum standing at the side of the bed, Ipad in hand. When the thing around my arm stops inflating, he looks for a reading on the machine.

After typing it down, he takes the thing off, and finally sees me awake.

"Morning, I hope you got some rest?"

"Yeah" I nod, slightly pushing myself into a sitting position.

"Your vitals are all looking good." He says, staring at the Ipad.

After a moment of silence he speaks again. "I am a little concerned about your bloodwork, though. I know teenagers, I was one as well and I know you try everything, you rebel, you go with the flow..." He looks to me, probably trying to see from my facial expression if he is on the right track.

"but someone has to start stepping in if this becomes concerning and you're not just testing limits anymore."

I look at him, slightly confused what my blood could tell him to make him so concerned.

He sighs, and sits himself down on a chair next to the bed. "There is an enzyme that is produced in your liver that helps your liver to function correctly. Your enzyme count is very high, and contrary to what you think, that doesn't mean your liver works better, it's actually concerning and something we see a lot in alcoholics."

The word alcoholic strikes a cord in my chest. I test the word in my mouth, trying to grasp what he just told me. But I just can't accept it.

I shake my head In denial "I'm not an alcoholic, I don't even drink that much."

"I'm not saying you're an alcoholic, but if you keep  drinking five beers every night, you might not, not be alcoholic for long anymore. And I'm not trying to criticize you or hurt your feelings, but it's something I have to make you aware of and warn you about." He adjust a bit on the chair, before talking further.

"Why do you do it?" he nods his head towards me.

"What are you, a psychiatrist?" I ask, but immediately regret it.

"I'm sorry" I whisper, letting my head fall down.

"Try to get some more rest." He stands up from his chair and makes his way towards the door. "Think about what I said. You're still young Jany, life still has so much to offer you, don't throw your life away."

The rest of the day, no one bothers me and for some strange reason I wish Calum would come and check up on me. I've never realized how much I actually crave human interaction, even though I'm no good at it when I'm sober.

I get up and take my IV pole with me, silently cursing it, because I have to drag it with me everywhere I go. I'm going to try to find something to occupy my mind with, because the sleep is heavily dawning on me, but I don't want to sleep.

Ashton said something last night that made me think; if I don't rest enough, they'd be forced to keep me here longer and I came to a conclusion that, that would work in my favor. I would have more time to relax and breathe in some fresh air without Miss Rachel's smoke and weed and I won't have to do all the cleaning, put all the children to bed, get them ready for school, make every meal and the list goes on.

You can basically call me a foster mom by now.

By night time Calum hasn't come to check up on me again, and to say I'm sad would be an understatement.

I'm so tired, but I'm not giving in to sleep. I'm not going back to that foster house.

By 9pm Calum walks into my room, looking exhausted.

"How are you feeling?"

"Okay, I guess. I'm in a bit of pain." I admit, but I don't tell him it's probably because I walked through almost the entire hospital to keep the sleep at bay.

"That's not good, we have pain medicine in your IV, which should be working." He frowns, inspecting the fluid levels.

"I can't really up the dose of morphine, we should actually start weaning you off it. What about I give you some Tylenol?"

"I'd be willing to take anything right now."

As he counts out the Tylenol for me, he speaks up. "I'm off tomorrow, so Luke will be checking up on – "

"Wasn't he helping you when I first came here?" I interrupt him.

"Yeah, I'm surprised you remember." He hands me the pills and a glass of water.

"I trust him to take care of you, you can trust him too. He's actually my roommate."

"I thought Ashton was your roommate?"

His head shoots up. "How do you know that?"

"Uhm" I try to make up an excuse, but my brain doesn't want to work at all right now. Stupid brain.

"Uh, I heard you guys talking?"

"We've both been too busy with patients. We haven't spoken to each other since yesterday morning."

"Fine, I went to Macy's room last night and apparently he's her doctor. So he brought me back and told me to sleep, otherwise you wouldn't be too happy. And then somehow he mentioned that you guys were roommates."

"Yeah, we are roommates. But with Luke and Michael as well."

"Oh, sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?" He comes to sit next to me and rests his hand on my back.

"I was being nosy."

"You don't have to apologize. You didn't do anything wrong."

"Really?"

"Yeah, really."