Thanksgiving

Chapter Five

It's morning at the Lola family's house and Michelle's dad John suddenly remembered that he has security cameras all over the house. John watches the security footage from the past twelve hours, and notices something strange after he put his musket away after he blew off Elijer and Mrs. Morrys heads. He had forgot to lock his gun case back up. He rewinds the footage back to when he fell asleep and sees a strange figure in a Teletubby costume sneaking in through the basement window. The person in the Teletubby costume grabs the musket and all the ammo from the gun case and tries to run outside but is confronted by the Lola family's giant ass security guard pitbull named Sophie. Sophie bites a large fucking hole in the Teletubbies pant leg but the thief in costume still managed to escape. Michelle is texting her friend Alex Bowman to tell him everything that happened last night. Alex and Michelle agree they should get a big ass bottle of Pink Whitney to drink their problems and anxiety away. Michelle gets in her pink Jeep and drives to the town Newburger where her and Alex rent a room at the casino where they think they're gonna be safe for the night. Alex and Michelle are taking shots back to back when suddenly a huge obese black woman breaks down their hotel room door. Alex and Michelle being wasted as fuck burst out into laughter because they thought the woman was Lovely Peaches but it was their high school enemy Brooklyn Highways. Brooklyn starts screaming "SHAKE MY ASS!!" At the top of her lungs. Clearly she has had too much Hennessy to drink tonight. Brooklyn screams "I GOT INVITED TO THE THANKSGIVING REUNION Y'ALL I BET YOU LOSERS DIDN'T BECAUSE Y'ALL A BUNCH OF FAKE ASS CATFISHES". Brooklyn slams her ass on the table and bounces out of the room and a crack pipe falls out of her pocket. Alex and Michelle go to reach for the pipe but suddenly hear an incoming stampede and back away as fast as they can. But it wasn't a stampede, it was Tuquan Stamos's fat ass. Tuquan was always known for smoking crack with his best friend Jay Wish and fingering all the ugly white girls he could get his crusty, ashy, hands on. Tuquan grabs his crack lighter and immediately lights the pipe because he's been itching all day. As soon as he inhales he passed the fuck out, falls on the floor and his heart stopped. His crack cocaine had been laced with fentanyl. Alex and Michelle examine Tuquan to see if he's alive and notice a note attached to the crack pipe that reads "Why wasn't I invited to the thanksgiving reunion? I wanna have some fun too. We're gonna have some fun now, you better watch your back you could be next". So therefore Alex and Michelle realize that the laced crack cocaine wasn't meant to kill Tuquan Stamos, but Brooklyn Highways...