17 really is all it's deemed to be. everyone's sick of 17, you don't know anything at 17. tbh, when you're 17, nobody understands. i'm not even 17, and i'm still wondering where's my teeange dream.
this book- as the title infers- has the number 17...
"I GIVE UP, I GIVE UP, I GIVE UP EVERYTHINGGGGG" says me who thought that I was discontinuing this book forevermore cause I'm literally not funny anymore but y'know what? I KEEP COMING BACK FOR MOREEEEEE + have a strange addiction to my favorite Olivia Rodrigo song everrrrr.
oN tO rOmAnCe cLaSs aPpArEnTLy.
*grabs tissue box* I TOLD MY FRIENDS YOU WERE THE ONE *sobs* AFTER I'D KNOWN YOU LIKE A MONTH *insert wild, dramatic pause*.... and then you kiss some girl from high school?!?!?!? EXCUSE MOIIIII?????? WHAT??? ABOUT??? ME-HEE-HEE????
*adele voice* hELLo. We're back likeeeeee 13 Zeestembers later ( Formally known as 'Zecember' but I was typing this and realized that if I add an extra e, it would sound like 'Zeest', so then I decided to write their whole name because Zeestember is the 13th month of the year, sO WHY NOT?!?! )
Oh yeah, so like we're back and I'm still teaching this stupid course. Shawn Mend-Ez never told me why yet showed up on my top 100 songs I streamed in 2023 playlist. WHY?! Yes, I've got proof cause I was raised by a Karen.
Is this a sign that I must get Lost In Japan?! :0 cUz i Can'T sEeM tO gEt yOU oFf mY MiND
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Well kiddos, let me tell you something- let's call it a life lesson from my extremely wise 17 past years of life; LOVE IS EMBARRASSING AS HELL.
Richard: wut, wHy is dat?
OHHHH, LET ME TELL YOU WHY CHEE ( short for 'Richard', totally came up with that myself and has nothing to do with my IT phase and Reddie Era of Early 2020 ). You see, I stayed in bed FOR LIKE A WEEK when space is what the dude said he needed. Bad idea right? *winks in certified Livie* uh I mean *grabs tissue box* Ohmygosh I'm sOsSOo heartbrken about dis.
I WAITED BY MY PHONE LIKE A GODDAM FoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOL.
And now, it don't mean a thing?!?!? LIKE EXCUSE MOI DUDE?!?!?!? Me so pissed, me sob so much sob sob sob.
Richard: I literally don't care. *sails away on the banana boat*
Sabrina: Yeah, me either *continues to text bestie Olivia Rodrigo* In fact I feel so much lighter like a feather not having to listen to this nonsense. Blegh bleh, I'm talking NONSENSE.
JUST WATCH AS I CRUCIFY MUSELF !!! *literally no onse is watching except for Maisie Peters and Billie Eyelash* Hold up, how did some of my two fav singers arrive here just to watch MOI???? I'mma expode... wth is expode. Screww tgis DSZfdxgchvjhbkjnlkml,;.szfdxgchvjbknlm;,;.dgfvjbhknlml,zxdgcfhvjbknjlmk;,l'.;qwersdtfghbnj2q34w5e6r7t8yuoipo[p :)))
eRrOr eRrOr cLaRa hAs sToPpEd FuNCTiOnING. *Zeest brings me back to life* OH HIIIII, HWERE WAS I?!
oH yeah so what was I saying???!!! *clears throat* aHeM. Ah yes... for some wEiRd second-string LoSeR *Charlie Puth magically shows up* OMY GOD IS THIS GONNA HAPPEN EVERYTIME I SAY THE SONG TITLE OF SOMEONE?! Hold up *stop* let me try something *you're losing me* ENCHANTED.
Time Machine: Taylor Allison Swift is not detected around here. TRY AGAIN LATER LOSERRRR
Charlie Puth: uR sUcH a LoSeR, wHy'D yOU eVeR LOSe hEr? ( Yes, I tweaked the lyrics, shuhshshhsh )
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NOOOOO, I DON'T KNOW HOW TF I LOST THE TAYLOR SWIFT!!!! *sobs*
Brandon da noob 2.0 ( New and Improved Version ) ( From The Vault ): What the hell is happening?! How the hell did FREAKIN ICONIC SINGERS poof out of no where?! And w h y!! i ThOUGHT tHiS wAs rOmAnCe cLaSs?!
Brendon: Who the hell are you?! I'M THE ONE AND ONLY BRENDONNNN
Brandon da nood 2.0 ( New and improved Version ) ( From The Vault ): I'm your secluded twin brother... BUT BETTER!!! :D
OKAY, EVERYONE SHUT UP, I HAVEN"T EVEN GOTTEN TO THE 2ND VERSE- uhhh, I mean, 2nd part of this LeSsOn *stacks up piles of Carebear coloring sheets*
Yeah so *re-grabs tissues* I CONSOLED HIM WHEN HE CRIED OVER HIS GIRLFRIEND'S NEW GUY, LIK E WHO DOES DATTT?
*Brendon and Brandon both raise their hands*
My God, how could I be so STOOPID?! *smearing mascara rains down upon us all, rarity style* THIS IS THE WORST. POSSIBLE. THING.
Geez... I'm getting bored of my own lecture, now that's a reason to cry like Rarity.
Yeah, I'mma spped dis up. nOW I'M planning out my wEdding with some guy I'm NEVER marrying *tosses tissue box*
Everyone: *gasps* rEaLLy?
HA, SIKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. As if!! fOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoLeD yA!!
Richard: *comes back from his banana boat trip* sO let me get this NOt straight... None of thsi was reaL???!!!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?
Honestly I was just listening to love is embarrassing for like the 105th time on Spotify and thought that it would be "funny" to write a silly HN chapter if I took the lyrics VERY seriously. Obviously, I lack lots of funny juice since my last HN book and trying to find/ learn what my new comedic writing style is. I know this was so not funny and I'm sorry :')
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STOP IT, WHY IS THIS SONG SO ADDICTING?! 😭 I'VE DEF LISTENED TO LIKE a 100 MORE TIMES SINCE THEN TBH ( Spotify streams stop counting on Oct 31... it's Dec 2 today )
Sign the petition for me to be funny again 🙏 Yeah *sighs* I know that's not how this works 🥹 OHMYGOSH LOOK IT'S CHARLIE AND SABRINA AGAINNNNN--
