Evanescent | Sung Hanbin ZB1

Ch.17 Nevertheless

When Hanbin woke up the next morning, he was so confused to find himself in an unfamiliar environment.

Wait, no. He knows this place. It's Dal's studio.

He sat up and looked around. To his slight disappointment, the girl he wanted to see wasn't around, only Gyuvin was there.

"Hyung, you're up."

"Hey, Gyuvin. How did I end up here?" Hanbin supported his forehead with his palm as if it could soothe his piercing headache.

"You don't remember what happened last night?"

Hanbin shook his head.

"I got a text from Dalie noona asking me to come and check on you in the morning, but I'm not sure how you ended up here. Were you with noona last night?"

"No."

Hanbin tried to recall what happened the night before. He only remembered that he went to drink at a bar after work. Then... then he met Kim Jiwoong! He was already pretty tipsy by then. He wasn't going to say hi since they had only met once; he doubted that Jiwoong would even remember him. To his surprise, Jiwoong approached him first.

"Annyeonghaseyo, Hanbin-ssi? Do you remember me from Dal's exhibition last time?"

"Yes, of course. You're Dal-ssi's boyfriend, Jiwoong-ssi, right?" Hanbin used all his might to pull himself together from the drunkenness.

"I thought you and Dal had talked through everything. Obviously, no one brought up the boyfriend bit. I'm not Dal's boyfriend. I'm just her best friend."

"But last time..."

"I already knew who you were, so I just wanted to see your reaction. Dal has never had a boyfriend, and I think you know why."

Jiwoong was right. He would have known if he had thought it through; how could Dal date anyone other than him when she had loved him through all these years?

"Maybe it would be better if she had one; at least I know she would have someone to take care of her. Is she doing alright?"

"Who are you to be worrying about her? If I'm being honest, I think you're a bloody coward for not facing your true feelings. I know you have a girlfriend, but do you really think that choosing her over Dal is the best way out? Because I think none of you three are truly happy, not even your girlfriend." With that, Jiwoong turned away to leave Hanbin alone.

Hanbin didn't remember anything after that. Jiwoong might have called Dal over to take care of him, which could explain why he ended up in her studio.

So it wasn't a dream that he saw her last night?

.

*Flashback to the night before*

Dal looked at Hanbin and met his hazy gaze.

"I thought you wouldn't show up in my dreams anymore. I guess I missed you too much." The pain in his tone broke Dal's heart.

"Tell me what I should do, Dal. I can't stop thinking about you. I'm overwhelmed with guilt every second I'm with Iseul, but I can't control my heart. If we were meant to be, then what about Iseul? I feel like the biggest jerk for betraying her. I thought I loved her, I really thought I did." Tears streamed down Hanbin's face as he finally spilled out all the emotions he had been bottling up, and Dal cried with him.

"I promised you that I would come look for you, and we wouldn't ever have to separate again. But I was a complete idiot and didn't remember anything. And I ended up making a mutually exclusive promise with Iseul that I would protect her with all my might. I can't be the one to hurt her. Our relationship is so deep-rooted that it's not only held together by love. She's like family, and I feel responsible for her. But I don't even know what's right anymore. I feel like I'm hurting everyone while trying to do the opposite."

Hanbin didn't choose Iseul over Dal because he loved Iseul more; he simply chose responsibility over romantic love.

"Your friend called me a bloody coward, and I think he's absolutely right. Dal, will you forgive this coward for breaking our promise?"

"Bin-ah, you could do the worst things to me, and I still wouldn't be able to be angry at you. I'm now giving you permission to disregard our promise. We made that promise before we even came into existence, so that doesn't count, alright? It would be stupid to let it ruin our happiness." She gently wiped away his tears.

"I'm sorry, it's so shameless of me to ask you for forgiveness when you're the one who had been searching endlessly for your whole life, who loved me when I wasn't even aware of your existence, who had to go through utter disappointment when you realised I didn't recognise you, who had your heart broken over and over again by me. I know what I'm going through is nothing compared to what you've been going through."

"I was really happy, Bin-ah. From the first time you showed up at the door of my studio to when we worked together, when we saw the first snow together, when we had walnut cakes at the service station, watched the sunrise together at Seoraksan, and not to mention the never-ending conversations we had during the trip. These memories made everything worth it, and they're more than enough for me. But if there's one thing I could change, I wish you had never remembered me. Sorry for putting you through this much pain. They probably make you forget about everything there for a good reason."

*End of flashback*

.

"Ah right, Hyung. Noona bought you some hangover soup. I'll heat it up for you." Gyuvin said as he opened the takeaway bag on the coffee table.

"Where is she?"

"I don't know. She had left when I got here. She wouldn't be coming in until this afternoon. Did something happen between you two? First, you called me in the middle of the night to ask about Noona's birthday. Then, somehow, you end up at Noona's studio drunk?"

"Sorry about last time. I don't really know how to explain the situation. but it turns out I have the same birthday as Dal."

"Really? Weren't you two born in the same year too? So same year, same month, same day? Wow, what are the odds?"

"I know, right? What are the odds?" Hanbin concurred with a bitter smile.

Before Hanbin left the studio, he left a note on Dal's desk.

'I would still have chosen to remember you even if I had known how much it'd hurt.'

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Hey guys! Hope you're enjoying Evanescent so far. I'm getting a bit behind on writing, so updates may not be as frequent especially with work getting in the way and Christmas coming up. But I promise to try my best to update as soon as possible.