chapter : 10

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I ran as fast as I could. 
I even forgot my shoes - in this cold at night, without shoes and jacket.
I am cyanosed now.
My fingers are blueshly painful at this moment.
But I didn’t look back at once.
I was dizzy - from the one hour running on this snowy night, in only a shirt. But I couldn’t stop.
I am not going back to that hell.

After twenty more minutes I reached my wornout apartment.
I locked - in the name of a lock - the door behind me and went inside my blanket, to warm up the more I could.

After the adrenaline rush passed throughout my body I started feeling pain - everywhere in my skin, my muscles, my bones. Hot liquid flowed through my eyes.
Why is my life like this?
Why am I cursed?
What did I do to live like this?
Why am I so undeserving?
Why?

I didn’t know when I passed out.
I got conscious when I heard a loud bang on the door.
All my nerves got alerted.
I sprung on the bed and cornered myself as much as I could - as if I could get passed the wall.

Soon my shivering became numb,
It was The Red in front of me fuming in anger with tens of guards with him.
I clutched shut my eyes, to vanish him from my view.

I could still hear the thumping sounds of his boots.
"Go away. Please go away"
I whispered.
But soon i got my answer - as a hard slap tearing my lips.
In this process I banged my head in the wall, making my vision blurred.

"You like to run, right? I will make you run now" i couldn’t even shout.
My tongue got tied.
Before I could sense something, the belt pierced my skin - making my brain shut. I just whimpered lying there, trying to escape the reality of cruelsociety.

My body is burning in pain, i was just praying for death at this moment.
I thought this is the last stage.
But in a spur of seconds, Red proved me wrong.

He took my left leg in his hand,
"With this leg, you ran. I will make sure you never run."
My mind froze.
I begged him again and again.
But he didn’t listen.
He slashed my tendon with a swift action.
I was so wrong. There was pain more than that. With Red, there is no word as last stage. And I closed my eyes.
Wishing never to wake up.

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After three months -

The decoration is top notch.
As expected.
It's the wedding of The trillionier Red.

Yes, with my sister Jina.
She is looking gorgeous in her million dollar gown. My mother is beaming with happiness. My father is running here and there, attending the guest - all of them are VIPs. My brother is looking through the arrangements.
My sister in law is beside Jina.
Today I should also be there for her - we promised that I would be the bridesman. But my destiny doesn’t allow me to.

I am sitting at the front in a wheel chair - dressed in the best tailored suit. I have gained weight in these months. My makeup artists did amazing work on my look for today.
I wanted to look good - for my sister.
I know they don't want me here.
But who can defy Red?

"Roze, you want something?"
Aunt Jieun is helping me the most.
She has become my personal nurse - she cried a lot in the hospital, in the first month. I was on total bedrest in the ICU. She alone attended me - i felt bad for her. She was asking for forgiveness again and again. But where is her fault?
If you say, she gave birth to a monster. Then she is guilty.

 Then she is guilty

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"No, mom."
I smiled.
"Let's go and feed you some stakes. The chef is topstar here."
I stiffened, "he said to stay here"
I was again panicking - shivering in anxiety.
"Shh...Sshh.Sss.hh... I will inform him. Ok?" she hugged me to calm me down.

I nodded trying to breathe.
After informing him, aunt took me to a table. And the waitress started serving me.

"Is it good?"
I smiled and nodded with a big piece in my mouth.
"Red would be in the Maldives for two weeks.........  With Jina"
I still-looked at her.
"How about we go to Bali?"
"He won’t agree.. I do...don’t..waaant anymore pain"
My memories drifted to that night - making bile rose in my throat.
"I will ask. Ok? We will have a mother and son trip"
She is trying everything in her to cheer me up.
We started chatting and having food.

The wedding has finished. Everyone is taking pictures. No one called me. Aunt jieun tried once but uncle Damian said no.
I am now on the balcony with three guards watching.
I sighed big.
"Pain often comes out as a big sign"
I looked, "uncle Jim, how are you?"
As usual uncle Jim looking the most gorgeous person in pink suit - with his cheeky bright smile.
"I should be the one asking you that"
I smiled in answer.
"Sorry"
"For what Uncle"
He came near the railing, "i couldn’t protect you" he was no longer smiling.
My heart dampened.
"No one could do anything uncle"
He looked desperation and tears in his eyes, "i thought i could"
"You tried that's enough"
He came close to me and kissed my forehead, "you don’t deserve this"
"No one can deny destiny"
I smiled.

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"You looked so beautiful. I wanted to take you there"
I shivered at his remake. How shameless can a person be!?

Red is here to say bye to me. He is going for his honeymoon after two hours. But here we are, on his bed
"Do....Don’t say...."
Disgust was crawling my skin.
"Why?" touching my already bruished nipple, he asked.
"Today is your wedding day"
"You want another slap"
"No...Nn..No"
"Then shut up."  he started kissing me.
Being afraid, I just answered his actions.

These days i shake even with his name. He is a walking devil.
He is becoming the worst day by day.
"While I am not here, don't do anything that I have to come personally leaving everything behind to attend you"
I knew the meaning behind these words.
I nodded.
"Good boy" he smiled, like i am a joker in his hand for his entertainment.
And then he started thrusting.
Telling me again and again how he will miss being inside me.

All I could do is cursing the day I became his friend.

Flashback :
Red is five - Roze is six

"Hello everyone I am new here. Please take care of me"
It was Red's first day at school.

"So Red, you sit beside Susan"
The teacher appointed his seat.

Red sat beside the overly pinky girl - smiling brightly at him.
But Red ignored her.
Suddenly his eyes got stucked at the seat before him. A smaller boy was so concentrated in his math book that he didn’t even see the new student for once.
There was something amusing about that boy - for Red.
The little boy's neck is so smooth, he could not help but touch it.
Flinched, the boy looked back at Red.
And Red was stunned at his beauty.

"You..need something?"
The rosy cheeks boy asked tilting his head.
Red, on a automode, nodded his head.
"What?" even his voice was doing something in Red's mind.

"You"

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