Surrender to The Healing(#1)

Chapter 9

Malika found herself pinned beneath Elijah's chest. His hands holding onto her waist. She stared up at him wide eyed and completely caught off guard. His grip on her hips tightened as he leaned toward her, whispering a sigh against her lips.

She didn't even have a chance to react before he kissed her. His lips gently caressing hers. She didn't know what to do. Half of her wanted to wrap him in her arms but the other half wanted to push him off and run away screaming in the other direction. As he continued to kiss her, her resistance seemed to evaporate and the muscles in her abdomen clenched.

She squirmed underneath him but soon she couldn't stop herself from giving in to the sensations he was evoking within her. She gripped his forearms, kissing him back with an abandon she didn't know she possessed. Their tongues played a sensual game of tag as they lavished kisses on one another.
His hands rubbed along her skin causing her to groan against his lips.

He tore his lips away from hers and trailed kisses along her jaw and down her neck. She threw her head back, her mouth forming a perfect o shape. His hands moved of their own accord and slid around her, gripping her butt in his large hands. He pulled her flush up against him, grinding into her open legs.

Then it was all over, all of the pleasurable sensations she felt just moments ago quickly disappeared. She was stiff now, her grip on his forearms tight.
He hid his face in the crook of her neck, trying to get his breathing under control. He shifted then, looking down at her. Her breathing was labored and shallow.

The streak of fear across her face told him that he had gone too far. He instantly felt guilty for his lack of control. Her knuckles were white because of how tight she was holding him. He licked his kiss swollen lips and attempted to move back. "Malika, baby, let go."

At his words she blinked, releasing his forearms. As he moved she sat up, wrapping her arms around herself. She watched him attentively, her heart pounding in her chest. They stared at each other for a long moment. Malika looked away after a while, unable to continue to meet his intense gaze. She licked her lips, finding them swollen from his passionate kisses. She hugged herself tighter.

"Malika, I'm-, " she cut him off as she quickly laid back down, "Just....don't."

He sighed before lying down beside her. He tossed and turned for a moment but after a while he gave into his desires. He scooted toward her on the bed, wrapping his arms around her. It felt right to hold her in his arms.

She stiffened, "Elijah, sto-," he rested his head on her shoulder, "Malika, shut up and let me hold you."
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It was ten in the morning and Malika stood in the bathroom, her hands shaking. She had woken up in Elijah's arms, her cheek resting on his bare chest.
Seeing him like that, so vulnerable, so handsome...she had immediately flown into a panic attack, pulling herself out of his arms and running into the bathroom. She silently cursed herself. What was she doing? She shouldn't be cuddling up with him. She shouldn't be allowing him to kiss her and hold her.

Because she knew that no matter how hard she tried she could never go beyond simple acts of intimacy.
Kissing.
Holding hands.
Sometimes hugging.
Sometimes touching.
She knew she couldn't torture him with what she would never be able to give him.
Her thoughts only made her shaking worse. She tried to open the bottle again for the uptenth time and failed. Sweat spotted along her forehead.
She was so frustrated, she felt on the verge of tears.
She tried to open the bottle one more time and failed. She choked back a sob.

"Give it to me." Elijah said as he took the bottle from her and popped it open. He placed two of the white pills in her shaky hands.
"Thank you." She mumbled before swallowing down the pills. He simply nodded, placing the top back on the bottle and placing it on the sink.

He had stood by the door and watched as she struggled with the small bottle. He had wanted to intervene but the look of determination on her face had stopped him. But when he had heard the sob escape her lips, he instantly came to her side.

She leaned against the sink. "How long have you been taking these?'

She looked up at him, "About three years."

"I don't like you taking them." His voice was stern, serious.

She looked him in the eyes for a moment. "I need them."

"You don't need them. These pills aren't keeping your heart beating, Malika."

"They were prescribed to me by a doctor, I need them, Elijah."

"I just don't want you to become dependent on these pills."

She stared at him for a moment, searching his eyes, "You think I'm addicted to them, don't you?"

He stayed silent, meeting her gaze head on. Malika shook her head in disbelief. "I'm not a drug fiend, Elijah! Don't treat me like I'm one! I take the pills to help me with my anxiety! I have panic attacks! You know this!" She snapped.

"I'm just worried about you, dammit!" He snapped back at her.

She pushed herself away from the counter and brushed past him. "I can take care of myself."

He followed behind her. "If you could take care of yourself, you wouldn't be taking these!"

She stopped and turned toward him, anger shinning in her eyes. "Don't you dare...," she narrowed her eyes at him," Just drop it, okay? It doesn't matter! What I do to myself is my business! Mine!" After saying that she turned away from him, attempting to storm off.

He grabbed her wrist, "I will not drop it! You will listen to me! I refuse to let you run away from anything else!"
She turned her head refusing to look at him. He grabbed her chin with his thumb and forefinger, forcing her to look at him. "I've grown up around drugs. I know the signs of dependency when I see them. I know what it's like to someone I care about lose themselves in drugs. I'm not telling you to stop, especially if they're really helping you; I'm asking you to learn to live without depending on them."

The intensity in which he spoke to her had her giving him her undivided attention. She knew what he meant. She knew what it was like to see someone you loved spiral out of control with addiction. Her father was a prime example of that.

She knew about the hardships Elijah had faced growing up. Drug dealers around every corner, poverty literally dancing through the streets. She knew about how he had watched many of his family members struggle with addiction. A single tear raced down her cheek and she sniffled.
He wiped at her tear streaked cheek, "Don't cry. I just want you to be careful, do you understand me?"
She nodded.

He leaned toward her as if to kiss her but he stopped, placing a long soft kiss against her cheek instead.

*This is really just a filler chapter...
I would really like to hear from you all! Give me your opinions, some feedback, something!
I'll be updating again soon!*