How great is your love for me.

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Is it to be considered a blessing to wake up in the morning if you hate the day that awaits you?

Am i to be grateful that the Lord considered me enough to spare my breath when life is like a curse to me?

God, How great is your love for me that you won't just let me die.

I continue to fight this internal fight.

Filling my body with an overflow of poison, losing from the second i put on the gloves.

Being battered black and blue,

The scars are internal,

Maybe that is to explain why nobody else notices how bad the fight has become.

But yet i fight, because i must fight, Am i left with another choice?

Do i want to die? Or do i want to stop hurting? why is my only thought of the pain ending brought about by death. Is that not what you are there for?

I allow my mind to gaslight me once again, Knowing not what i want.

Knowing that i should be grateful for you, for this life you have blessed me with all while asking you why it was me that had to be born.

My life has become an oxymoron and nothing makes sense.

But yet i fight another day, for i have no other choice.

Because for some reason that i can not explain, you love me so much that you just wont let me die...

Fimi Babalola

*

I know this poem is heavy but depending on how you look at it, it is a story of my faith giving me some type of hope.

Even in the midst of harm and struggles, i still have enough faith in God that he will get me through it all. It's a story of a girl who comes to realize how much God truly loves her.

I pray that none of you relate to this poem,

but if you do, let God's love be your reason.

I love you.

you've got this!

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