luck for the night - rl.

48. on my smoke break.

A few hours later, Zoya, Mel and I stepped into an Uber towards London. My flight would be at twelve, so we had spent the last few hours making plans on how to get into the concert venue Remington would be at, and what to say to him, drinking tea, and trying to sleep off some of our drunkenness. Sleeping was very difficult though, with all of these nerves rushing through my body.

Phoebe stayed in Bristol and had promised me with a smile that whatever happened, she and Inner Beauty would be waiting for me when I got back.

I had felt a little string of guilt when I had hugged her goodbye, though. Me lying to her was one of the things that had gotten me into this mess, after all. "Mindy is still covering for you. Please don't worry. Come back when you're ready. I'm here for you. We all are." She had said, and I had thanked her again, before letting go of her and stepping into the van that would drive us back to the capital city.

Zoya sat in the middle seat, mostly because we already had a feeling Mel would be asleep ten minutes after our departure. And we had been right, looking at the now sleeping girl leaning against Zoya's shoulder.

"She always does that, doesn't she?" Zoya asked, absentmindedly running her hand through her girlfriend's hair.

"Always." I nodded, "get her in a car, and she is asleep before you have even turned a corner."

Zoya laughed, "I'd like to see that." She was silent for a second, before turning her head towards me. "I'm glad you're doing better, by the way."

"Me too," I looked down at my hands now, "It wouldn't have happened hadn't the three of you showed up. How did that all go, though? I all I know is that I brushed off Phoebe this morning, and a couple of hours later, you all flooded my flat."

"We were at work and Mel got a message on Instagram from Phoebe. She practically rushed out, after a quick call with her. I had to tell our manager her mom was in the hospital... Don't know how we're going to explain that one tomorrow, but oh well."

My heart melted, looking at the faces of my sleeping friend, and the one that was awake. "Thank you again. Both of you. Will you tell her that if she doesn't wake up before we arrive at the airport?"

Zoya smiled, "of course."

"And, Zoya?" Nerves suddenly formed in my chest, and not because I was about to take a flight to another country.

"Hm?"

"Thanks. For being a friend," I took a breath, "don't tell Mel this but you are her first girlfriend that accepts me, and tries to befriend me too, instead of hating me or being jealous."

Zoya's eyes twinkled, "oh, come on. You guys have been friends since you were kids. If you'd liked each other, something would have happened by now. Plus, this whole time I've known you you've been crazy hung up on some other dude so, I'm not worrying."

Nerves rushed through my body again at the thought of him, the thought of what I was going to do in a couple of hours. "I'm terrified," I admitted.

"As you should be. You did something stupid. But you can't do more than be honest with him."

"I'm not sure what I would do if I was him in this situation. I wouldn't want to speak to me." Suddenly, fear took over my tired brain. "What if he does not want to speak with me? hates me even more because of it? Hurts me even more?"

Zoya's hand folded over mine, "then deal with it. That's the only thing you can do."

I lowered my head, a sigh leaving my lips. "I know. That's why I'm fucking afraid."

"What is meant to happen, will happen. I know that much. Now try to get some rest. We're not in London yet, and I have another free shoulder."

Thankful, I leaned my head on Zoya's other shoulder, who then rested her head against the headrest, breathing deeply. And despite sitting in a moving vehicle, getting closer and closer to the scariest fucking thing I had done in my life, I slept comfortably for the first time since that night in Remington's arms, knowing I had friends who cared about me deeply. Knowing that I was on my way to do the right thing.