The Rogue

Part 1

I envy the people who can trust easily, the people who can just be happy. For me, happiness and trust comes with consequences so I don't do it. Everyone I have ever trusted, ever loved, has left me by either their chose or unwillingly. So now I trust no one and I like it better this way, there's less chance of me getting hurt.

I wasn't always this way, I was once a happy child full of love and laughter. I was an Alpha's daughter, next in line to rule the pack. But it all came crashing down when another pack attacked ours, wanting our land for their own. My fathers' Beta had betrayed him, he was feeding information about us to this other Alpha. So when the other pack attacked, we had no idea it was coming.

That was my first lesson on betrayal, the two had been the best of friends. I still don't know why he betrayed my family, but the look on my fathers face when the truth came to light is one I'll never forget. The last time I saw my father was ten years ago, he was telling me to run and not look back. I was almost to the woods when a wolf attacked me, clawing at my face. It was my mother who tackled this wolf, allowing me to get away.

I was running for hours, no idea on where to go when the pain first hit me. I was shifting, something that should've been impossible for a ten year old. All wolves shift when they turn sixteen, yet there I was withering on the forest floor for ten minutes before the shift overcame me. She became my strength, my rock.

Now I live with the rogues, no pack to call home. We run aimlessly through the woods day and night, never settling down in one place for too long. If another pack finds us, we will be killed instantly. Rogues have bad reputations with packs so they're usually immediately put down. I try to keep my best from killing, only doing so when absolutely necessary.

I still remember my first kill as if it happened yesterday, the memory forever ingrained into my mind. I was running through the woods in wolf form, I didn't know that I was in someone's territory when a wolf tackled me from the side, our bodies rolling across the forest floor. I could see the crazed look in his eyes, he wanted my death. I knew I had to make a decision, it was either him or me.

Being an Alpha's daughter, I'm much stronger than the average wolf. My father had been training me from the moment I was born, I needed to be strong to rule over our pack. It was a quick fight, the wolf not being one of the higher ranked ones. I still remember the feeling of my teeth sinking into his throat, ending his life.

I cried that night, realizing what my life had become. I didn't want to hurt anybody, I just wanted to live the rest of my life out in peace. But being a rogue, that thought is only a dream. I had to take many more lives after that, each one taking a tiny piece of my soul with it. I became harder, untrusting of everybody.

I have a little pack of rogues that follow me around, they call me their queen. Their wolves can sense that I am of higher power, so they stay close. Safety in numbers. We mostly travel at night when it's dark and during the day we set up camp and hunt for our next meal. This isn't how I pictured my life to be.

I was supposed to be running my pack by now, a leader to all of my followers. Even as a young child, the pack had always accepted me as their next Alpha. An Alpha female, a rarity. There were pack members always coming to see me, wanting to talk to me about their day and how I was doing.

Now all I have left is this little pack of rogues. Each wolf dirty and broken in their own way, all of us just looking for a place to call home. I am the only one who keeps to themselves, rarely choosing to socialize with them. I watch as they chase each other around sometimes, their happiness showcasing as they act like pups again. Sometimes I wish I could feel the happiness that they have yet my soul feels empty.

This is my life now.