The Feeling of Falling Upwards

1. No Shame

Every single traffic light was turning red. A blessing and a curse at this very moment. I stopped dead at the lights and reached across to the passenger seat for my make up bag. Madly sifting through the contents of the bag I found my mascara, pulling down the sun visor to use the mirror. As I did the light turned green. Groaning in frustration I began driving again until the next red light a measly 100 metres away. Pulling the wand out of the tube I managed to apply mascara to both eyes before the light turned green again.

I glanced down at the clock on my car's radio - 8:46am. It ran three minutes fast so I had a little more time than it said, but not enough. Another red light, another dig through the make up bag, another rushed application. It was nowhere near perfect but I couldn't show up with none.

8:53am and still stuck in slow moving city traffic. I hit my hand against the steering wheel and cursed under my breath. The sun was well and truly up and reflecting aggressively off the rear window of the car in front of me as traffic continued to crawl.

Pulling into the underground carpark at 9:04am I just knew the day was going to get worse. My second hand, sun bleached Suzuki Swift speeding around the corner to find somewhere to park looking completely out of place next to the Audis, Mercedes Benz, and BMWs that filled the lot.

Parked and practically falling out of the car in my rush I pulled on my impractical but required heels. As I began my speed walk to the staff entrance I noticed one car I dreaded seeing most of all. A large black SUV with tinted windows. I sighed and almost jogged in my shiny black heels. Swipe card at the ready I entered the building and hustled down the stale smelling and echoing corridor to the store. I swung the door open and huffed as I reached the counter where Kristen was looking at me. She raised a perfectly waxed and tinted eyebrow knowingly.

"9:08. They really won't be happy with you today," Kristen smirked, stepping to one side so I could throw my bag in the cupboard behind the counter. Kristen was casually typing away at the computer.

"I know I saw the fucking car down stairs. Why couldn't you deal with them today?" I groaned, straightening my just-below-the-knee black skirt and doing up the last two buttons on my blouse.

"Because I have another client coming in soon. Plus I know how much you love helping them out," Kristen laughed. She turned from the computer to look me up and down. "You look fine, just get in there before they come asking where you are, okay? They've already been waiting 10 minutes." Kristen's eyes turned serious and she gave me a soft smile. I looked at her, perfectly presented. Her hair was slicked back into a smooth and flawless bun, carefully curated eyeliner to be noticed, but subtle, and a soft red lipstick. She had also had time to iron her clothes.

I nodded and started to walk towards one of the two client rooms near the back of the store that looked more like a fancy walk in wardrobe. There was an island in the middle of the room with jewellery displayed, rails along the walls sparsely filled with outfits complete with shoes on the low shelf underneath the garments. Everything was obnoxiously white and shiny and clean and always smelt like spiced vanilla mixed with the overwhelming amount of cologne the clients wore.

The counter was placed towards the back of the store so it couldn't as easily be seen from the street - apparently for staff safety but it was definitely to protect the high end clients coming through. They were always kept private in one of the two rooms tucked away at the back of the store anyway.

I reached out my hand for the door knob and took a deep breath, put on my best customer service smile and opened the door.

Inside the room four men were seated on the couch that faced away from the door. A security officer was standing beside them, arms held in front of his body looking extremely bored. The seated men didn't turn as I entered the room.

"Good morning gentlemen. I'm very sorry for the delay in your service today," I said as I closed the door. No reaction. Great. I made my way to the seat opposite the couch and slowly sat in front of the four forever unimpressed members of 5 Seconds of Summer.

They always sat in the same seats every time they came in and I wondered if it was intentional or not. Luke always sat on the end near the door, his long legs bent hard at the knee because of the low couch. His right elbow propped up on the arm of the couch and his chin resting in this hand. Today he wore a plain white t-shirt, black jacket, black jeans, and black boots which was a standard choice for him. Something new was his nails were painted a shimmery blue this time.

Ashton sat next to him. His hair was red now, slicked back apart from one strand that hung in front of his forehead. In a very similar outfit to Luke like they had planned to coordinate or were just completely unoriginal - either was possible. A red shirt with the top three buttons left undone peaked out from under his jacket.

Michael had always been more adventurous with his style choices. Today he opted for black techware pants and an oversized white crew neck jumper. His signature messy hair always a different colour was shockingly his natural blonde this visit.

Last was Calum on the other end of the couch. He usually spent most of the booking staring out the window watching the world of regular people pass by. In typical loose fit jeans, large black t-shirt and black beanie with his curly fringe and mullet sticking out. He had his arms crossed as he slouched further into the seat.

I clasped my hands together and ran my thumb over the bumpy scar on my right palm to ground myself. It always felt like an interrogation when the four of them came in together.

"Well, get on with it. You know what we like," Ashton said, not even looking up from his phone. His leather jacket rustled as he shifted in his seat to look in my general direction, but not at me, when I hadn't immediately moved.

"Of course. Would you like to start with apparel or accessories today?" I asked, trying to keep my cool with a forced smile that hurt my cheeks. Surely they could tell it was fake. But they would have to pay me an ounce of attention first and that certainly wasn't going to happen.

"Apparel, Julia," Luke said, eyes still looking on his phone as well. He paused in his scrolling, smirked,leant over to Michael who also smirked, then Luke double tapped the screen before continuing. Unbelievable.

"As you wish," I forced out with a smile. "And it's actually Jillian," I corrected. Luke just lifted his hand and waved me away. Why did I even bother? I stood and turned to the back of the room where the apparel options were kept in glass closets. I took the opportunity to roll my eyes and drop the facade. This was going to be one of the longest 90 minutes of my life.

Their booked time finally came to an end. After showing countless items and receiving nearly no reaction to any of them I knew it was going to just be another waste of time and no reward for me. None of them made a single purchase, which meant that I made zero commission. Same as always.

"Thank you so much for coming in today gentlemen, we look forward to seeing you again," I said with that same forced smile I had worn the entire time. My cheeks were killing me. The four men sauntered out of the front door without looking back followed by their security who gave me a small smile and nod. As soon as the front door closed behind them I turned to face Kristen.

"Another successful session with them I see," she laughed, leaning on her hip against the counter.

"I can't fucking stand them!" I groaned. "They come in and take up so much of my time and I never make any money from it!" I threw my head back and let out a huge sign and slumped against the counter next to Kristen. "Why do they even come in here? I swear it's just some weird power trip because they mostly just ignore me. Like hello? Why are you upset with my service but also upset if I don't provide it? Literally just fuck off and go home," I vented.

"Honestly I don't get it either. Maybe they like the idea of girls waiting outside for them because they're 'so famous'," Kristen said with air quotes and a sarcastic tone. We both laughed but also looked outside to see a small crowd of people waiting for the boys and taking photos with them. I scoffed and rolled my eyes as I looked away.

"They truly don't have any shame about it either," I said to Kristen.

"I guess when you've gone this long getting what you want anyway, why care how you treat people?" She said, still looking out the window. "You have to admit they are really hot though," Kristen said completely seriously.

"Oh my god not this again," I laughed as I threw my hands in the air.