Starlight - rick grimes TWD

PROLOGUE

phoebes pov

8 years ago

Sometimes when i close my eyes I can still hear her singing to me and if i try really hard i can feel her playing with my hair as i slowly drift off into a deep sleep. that was the only comfort that i had after my mother died my imagination i think about the conversations we would have about the future and the way she knew every single way to calm me down.

sleep was something that never came easy to me anyway but now it was impossible. and on the rare occasion my mind lets me finally rest the only thing that i dream about is that woman telling me that she is dead, gone and never coming back.

i knew that it was going to happen she had been sick for months now but i never fully prepared myself the day that the doctor told me she was no longer with me and no longer with my dad.

that was also the day that i lost my father after that day he drowned himself in alcohol or drugs completely forgetting about me most of the time when i would walk into the house he would turn a blind eye at me and continue drinking himself to death.

my mother died 3 months ago and i know i will never recover from that loss

the only person that makes me feel something after her death is my best friend Maggie i would be nothing without her she is my rock after it happend her and her family let ,me stay at their beautiful farm whenever i wanted they were my second family and i was so thankful that they look after me as well as they do.

tonight i'm staying at Maggie's tonight i just need to go home and get some clothes from my house.

"don't take too long we've got ice cream waitin' for us when we get back" Maggie told me as she switched of the engine to her car off

"don't worry i will be like five minutes" i told her while getting out of the car. i leaned against the car " you know you're getting really impatient recently woman" i said to her with a smile on my face

"would you just go already " she laughed while throwing her hat at me " Okay, okay i'm going calm down" i told her walking to my front door

i got my keys out of my pocket and opened the door looking around. the place was in the same state i left it in this morning beer bottles all over the place and cigarette buds all over the coffee table

i sighed as i called out to my dad "dad!" i shouted "imma go to Maggie's tonight okay?" normally he replies.

"dad?" i said again but quieter. i walked over to his bedroom that was next to the bathroom "dad you in here" i peaked my head though the door to his room but hes not in there.

but the bathroom door is open very slightly i look in and i see someone on the floor.

my heart droped when i opened the door full i see my dad on the floor with white foam coming out of his mouth.

i run over to him and shake him while i have tears running down my face. i press my head up against his chest to hear nothing "no, no ,no " i kept muttering to myself until finally i let out a gut-wrenching scream.

i lift his head on to my lap as i cradle his lifeless body in my arm until i hear the front door slam open and i hear fast foot steps on the stair until finally it reaches the bathroom.

"phee what happend are you okay i heard you scre-" its Maggie she looks down at me and my father and stops her sentence and puts her hands over her mouth "oh my god" she cries "ill call the ambulence" she tells as she run out of the room with a panicked face.

but i can barely hear her i'm still holding my fathers body and tears are still streaming down my face.

i don't know how long it's been of me holding on to my dad but that wasn't until i feel someone try and take my father away from my grip "NO DON'T TOUCH HIM" i scream at the person as my grip on my father tightness

then i feel a different pair of hands touch my shoulder "they need to take him away he wouldn't want you to do this phoebe" Maggie tells me as she slowly takes my hands away from my fathers body

"hes gone" i keep muttering to myself as Maggie holds on to me so tight

once the people have taken my father away Maggie makes me stand up still hugging me and walks me to her car. she lets go of me and sits me down on the passenger seat and closes the door while she walks over to the driver side and starts the engine.

I can't move i feel numb i can still feel the tears streaming down my face all i do is sit there and stare out the window of the car while Maggie drives to the hospital where they take my dad

________________

a few weeks later

we had a funeral for my father Maggie's family came and a few of my mother and father friends all of them gave me looks of sympathy none of them talked to me except Maggie and her family.

they have looked after me for these few weeks Hershel, Maggie's dad said that if i wanted to they would take me in and look after me which i was grateful for.

i was currently at the farm. The Greene's have given me a room and told me that I could decorate it anyway that i wanted but i haven't done that yet.

there was a knock at the door "come in"i said quitely "hey how you doing sweetheart" it was Hershel he came in and sat on my bed.

"i'm doing okay i guess" i told hi truthfully "well i have been waiting to give this to you because i didn't know when you where going to be ready to read it but there was a note taped to the mirror in the bathroom i haven't opened it because it was adressed to you but now i think you should have it." he told me as he went into his pocket and pulled out an envelope that had my name on it, it was in my fathers hand writing and he handed it to me.

"thank you" i told him while staring at the letter "that's quite alright dead i'll give you a minute okay" he told me as he left the room leaving me alone.

i slowly opened the envelope and took out the folded piece of paper that sat in it and slowly opened it and read it.

my darling phoebe

i'm so sorry that i did this to you. i know that all you needed these past months was me and i was not there for you after your mother died and i truly hate myself for being a horrible dad to you

i just couldn't cope with being in a world that you mother was not in. it broke my heart every day having to look at you because everything you did reminded me so much of her.

and i know how dissapointed she would be of me knowing how much i am hurting you.

i want you to know that i love you more than anything in this world and stars combined and this was not your fault. you and your mother were truly the light of my life. you were my starlight and i will never forget you

i wont forget your beautiful smile

your amazing personality

just you

i love you my beautiful girl

with love always

dad xxx