Chasing Rainbows

5: Abuse

Chapter Five

Warning: The following scenes might not be appropriate for some readers as it may trigger their traumas.

Adulting is a never-ending cycle of work and worry. Adulting is constant battle with the alarm clock and the snooze button. In short, adulting is a slow and painful death. But that's just my perspective. Not everyone sees it the same way.

Sofia's voice trembled as she spoke from the back seat. "Are you guys going to play with me?" She had seen the dread in our faces when I strapped her in. She fiddled with the moon pendant of her necklace, a nervous habit. "What do... do I need to do this time?"

She trembled and felt a surge of panic. Nagsisimula nang mamumo ang kaniyang mga luha sa napaka-inosente niyang mga mata na na-expose sa mga bagay-bagay na hindi naman dapat niya makita. Kahit na nilalamon na siya ng kaba, she's trying to be brave.

Sofia looked at Zayn. "Do I need to suck that, mister?" She asked, her voice quivering. 

I was stunned. Zayn and I were speechless for a moment. Dinudurog ang puso ko, at marahil ay ganoon din ang nararamdaman ni Zayn ngayon. Hindi na bago sa akin ang makarinig ng ganoon pero nasasaktan ako dahil naririnig ko ito ngayon mula sa bibig ng isang bata na wala pa sa maayos na pag-iisip.

She panicked when we didn't answer. "Or do we need to play threesome?" She unzipped her shirt with her trembling little hands that should be holding paper and pencil, not filthy things.

Zayn stepped back and I saw his jaw clench as he balled his fists. I was sure he was itching to punch someone right now.

Sofia saw that and it made her cry harder. "Did I do something wrong? Why is he mad?"

I held her hands but it didn't soothe her. "Why?" I asked. "Why are you doing this?"

She looked away. "I don't want to be locked in that room." She rubbed her palms together and begged. "Please don't make me stay in that room with her."

"Who?" I asked.

"My mother." She said, her voice breaking.

They forced her to sleep with her mother's rotting body, crawling with maggots and reeking of death. That was their way of torturing her, besides beating her to death. The world was falling apart quickly. We often use the word 'animal' sa mga taong walang maayos na ambag sa bansa pero kung tutuusin, mas may puso pa ang mga hayop kesa sa kanila.

I lifted her chin and smiled at her. "We're not here to harm you, princess." I dabbed her tears with my shirt. "Are you scared of doctors?"

She shook her head, puzzled.

"Good, because we have to take you to one of them." I pointed at Dr. Harrison. Jedruth and his team would accompany them to the base. We wanted Sofia to recover with the other kids, but it was too risky, even if we had dealt with Richard today.

Before Sofia could ask more questions that would break my heart, I gave her the reassurance she needed. Though I doubted she would believe me, because I knew how hard it was for her to trust again. "I know you don't trust anyone right now, but I swear, they are good guys."

"Are we playing?" she asked.

They had brainwashed her into thinking that everything she did was a game, and it would take time to erase that from her mind, so I played along. "Yes, and we're making sure you're the winner."

"How?"

"By healing yourself."

"That's it? I don't have to do anything like..."

I interrupted her because I couldn't stand to hear what she had endured anymore. "You will never do those things again. Never. Do you understand me?"

She nodded, but I could see the doubt in her eyes. Hind ko siya masisisi. Dahil sa napagdaanan niya simula noong bata siya, magiging mahirap na para sa kaniya ang magtiwala.

***

"If you bite the dust today, it's not on me. Get your act together," Zayn said to me.

"If that's your way of saying be safe, then I thank you," I responded. We always had this banter whenever we were together. Mocking each other, or rather, I always mocked him when he was serious or cold to me.

He sneered. "Suit your ass."

I chortled. "I know I have a nice ass"

He glared at me. "You never run out of things to retort, do you?"

"Nope, unless you're Joss."

He raised an eyebrow. "Joss?" He pulled out his gun and loaded the magazine. "Why do you keep pushing yourself to someone who doesn't like you? Are you dreaming of having a relationship with him even though you know you have no chance, not even one percent?"

I looked at him suspiciously. "Were you eavesdropping on me and Jedruth?"

Jedruth and I weren't that close, but I shared with him because I felt more comfortable talking to him than to my friends. Loko-loko si Jedruth, but he always knew how to read the room. He knew what to do in different situations, whether he needed to give advice or just be a sounding board until the person calmed down. Another reason was, he didn't probe too much and he was scatterbrained. So, if I told him a story about my dog dying today, there was a high chance na hindi na niya 'yon maaalala by next week. Iyon din ang rason kung bakit lagi siyang iniiwan. 

Zayn shrugged. "Not too long. Just enough to hear everything and how you blush over your small interactions together. Disgusting."

I huffed. Hindi nga ako nauubusan ng sinusumbat sa kaniya pero lagi naman siyang nananalo sa tuwing nagbabangayan kami. Masyado siyang maraming nalalaman, eh. Compared naman sa akin na ag tanging alam ko lang sa kaniya ay siya si Zayn. Wala ng iba.

Bumalik ako sa sasakyan para gawin kung ano man ang dapat kong gawin. Inilabas ko mula sa plastic ang binili kong cake kanina sa café. Bigla akong nagutom. Parang ayoko pa nga siyang kainin dahil napaka-cute niyang tignan.

Pagkalipas ng ilang minuto, narinig ko na ang sunod-sunod na putok ng baril. Maya-maya pa ay dumating na si Zayn bitbit ang walang malay na si Richard. Buhay pa ito sa ngayon dahil may kailangan pa kaming itanong sa kaniya. 

Pagkatapos niyang ilagay ang katawan nito sa trunk ay binuksan niya ang pintuan sa tabi ko. Galit na galit itong nakatingin sa akin ngayon. 

"What the hell are you doing?"

I raised my eyebrow. "What does it look like?"

"Wow." He licked his lips in frustration. "You've got some nerve, huh."

He reached for his phone in his pocket. He was probably calling Jedruth.

"Tell this stupid woman here who's munching on a damn cake instead of watching her back that if she's not careful, she'll get a bullet in her head."

Natawa na lang ako. Mabilis kong ibinaba ang hawak kong cake at kaagad na kinuha ko ang baril sa mesa at pinaputukan ng bala ang lalaking muntik ng patayin si Zayn.

"I'll remember that." I gave him a wink before leaving. I tossed him the keys and snatched the cello case from the back seat. Hindi ako sasama sa kanila pabalik dahil kailangan naming linisan ang mga bakas na iniwan nila. We also have to grab all the documents we can find.