"Fuck me" I said lowly. He looked at me with a raised eyebrow, probably waiting on me to say I was joking but, I wasn't. I needed him balls deep to relieve me of this stress.
"Right now?" He said a bit surprised, a little theatrical too, "you want...
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As the day drew to a close, I made my way back home, eager to shed the stress of today's work day. The familiar comfort of my living space welcomed me. First things first – a shower. Today was one of those days, it was long and exhausting I couldn't wait to get home just to wash it all a way.
Post-shower, I ventured into skincare, a deliberate and almost meditative process for me. The scent of cleansers and serums filled the air as I carefully tended to my skin. Each product, a small act of self-pampering, became a moment of peace.
As I went through my evening routine, my mind buzzed with words unsaid, thoughts longing to be shared with Hackeem, the guy I've been dating. Things have been off for us, and it's been like that for a while if I am being honest with myself.
This is the part I hated. You meet a guy, he does everything right then 3 weeks in or 3 months later he's a whole new person. Repeat. I didn't want to be a bitter person, nor do I wish to be a city girl. I'm a lover girl who just wants to find a lover guy but the universe keeps playing in my face.
Checking the time, I realized he'd be arriving in the next five minutes. I was nervous, well I was passed nervous as I thought about the conversation ahead, hoping the minutes ticking away would bring clarity to the unspoken tensions hanging between us. At this point, all I had was hope.
Have you ever met someone, you like them and they say they like you too but even though their action tells you otherwise, you're still set on them being the one so you continuously try? That was the scenario. I wanted him to be the one. I hate starting over so I just wish he'd just get it together.
I hoped he would.
My friends often teased me, saying I fall too fast, but that's not entirely true. I can't help it I'm just a hopeless romantic, eagerly awaiting the moment when I can bask in the purest essence of love. I think everyone should experience that pure love, the kind that flows naturally. The kind that makes you feel completely at peace with only tears of joy instead of pain and sorrows.
Things kicked off beautifully with Hackeem – he was funny and handsome, making it all the more effortless to be drawn to him. At first, he seemed cool. We talked about serious stuff, finding common ground even though we liked different things. But things got weird when I went all out planning his birthday trip. He spent the whole time texting his girl best friend. Maybe it was my bad for going all out when we were just getting to know each other.
Yes, I did that during the talking phase. Stupid, I know.
It's my weakness, that I had to work on because as soon as I liked a guy I needed to know who much the earth cost.
