Prose, poems and deep conversations with myself.

Worthy of a Sonnet

I listen to Crash Adams
Because he kinda looks like you
J'san on the tenth second
Of I'm in love with you, sorry
His voice reminded me of you
How painfully exhausting
But there's nothing else I'd rather do
I'd rather not have anything at all
If it's not with you
I'd rather choose to freeze or burn
And wither away if not soon
I'd write ten thousand prose and poems
But I know better
You're worthy of a sonnet.

Every song references
Had your fingerprints
All over them
Everyone I see
Who resembles just a tiny bit of you
Then somehow I feel colder.
I know you're there, I know you can hear me
Even if it's miles away, I'm sure it's louder
I can't stop my brain from thinking about you, I'm sorry
I chose to lose sleep so I can get up at 8:30
That way it would seem like we were at the same timezone
I took some medicine to calm me down
Stop my palpitation
The heaviness I feel in my chest
When I know you're the only reason.

I scribble away the words that come to mind
It just rushes to me, just not at my chosen time
When I remember something that you said
Or maybe how your laugh echoes in my ears.
It feels like the air has gone and I can't breathe
I wanted so badly to talk to you but
When you're on the other line, I can't speak!
How else would I get the word across
And reaching out to you, hoping I will hear back.
My mind is racing, maybe I shouldn't make plans
Tell me what you're thinking, or should I let it be
Maybe this isn't what you wanted
Maybe you can just let me,
For the first time, dedicate a sonnet.

When the world is still, no voices, just silence,
Can I be in the same space, breathe in peace
Seasons fade, flowers bloom
Will my heart be your home?
Believe me, this came to me by surprise
Like an unexpected attack
But I have to push it forward like I always do
See how this turns out, and I'll never go back
If it doesn't work, at least I tried
I will live not regretting for what could have been
I know I'll never be her or Monet
I still try because you are worth every single bit
I am just but a candidate
But to let you know, you are worthy of a sonnet.