Warrior Princess

Ayra

How was I going to explain this to him? I was satisfied beyond belief and I did not want to have this conversation right now. I would rather lay in bed after that mind blowing release he gave me. Of course, this was not a privilege I could afford.

With impending war on my hands, I have to cut my honeymoon short and prepare my kingdom and my king for war.

"Yes. Did you not know about the forthcoming war?" I asked him, still a tad irritated that we could not just lay here in comfortable silence for a moment longer.

"No!" Dheeran exclaimed. "I had no clue we were going to war!"

I cupped his cheeks and kissed him. "It will be alright. I will be back before you know it."

"What do you mean you'll be back? You're off to war? What is happening?!" He asked, setting me beside him and sitting cross legged on the bed.

I sighed, preparing to explain everything. I was really exhausted and would much rather go to sleep than have this conversation, but I really did not have any other choice. "My uncle waged war on all the kingdoms, and framed my mother," I explained. "He says my mother threatened to burn the other kingdoms down if they did not return me. So we now have a war on our hands."

"What are we doing? Playing with dolls? Do you understand the consequences of a war? Thousands of people would die!" He argued.

I closed my eyes for a split second, trying to calm myself down before answering him. "I sent out letters to each of the kings to sort this out diplomatically. My diplomats in each kingdom are on it as well."

"And if this diplomatic approach does not work?"

I shrug. "We hold our fort, and try to expand our lands through this war. Unlike all the other kingdoms, we have more experience with war. We may have just got out of one, but we have stockpiled weapons, warriors, and horses to make it through anything these kingdoms may throw at us. With the right strategies, and leaders, we might even come of out of these wars relatively unscathed."

Dheeran shook his head and massaged his temples, anchoring his elbows on his thighs. "You make this sound easy, your highness."

I kiss his cheek to reassure him. "I have fought in countless wars," I say, leading his head to the scars below my breast, on my rib cage, and on my back. "Trust me when I say I have this under control."

"If you go off to war, what do I do?" Dheeran asks, looking up at me with panic in his eyes.

"You look after the kingdom."

"And if you die in battle?" He asks, his voice sombre.

I smile. "I will not. I have thousands of men and women protecting me, their warrior princess. I will not die."

Dheeran raises his eyebrows and tilts his head in disagreement. I curl up around him and rest my head on his shoulder. "I will not die," I said, trying to reassure him.

Was I worried about the possibility of a war?

Yes. Most definitely.

Will I tell my husband that I will most probably die in the chance that a war breaks out?

No. Of course not. That would be foolish of me.

Will I tell him that my ministers are planning on overthrowing me right this moment in the war room?

Not a chance.

"This was not the role I was expecting as a king consort," he says, half chuckling and half sighing.

"Mhm. Tell you what, you can take part in strategizing for the war with me. Once I leave, my men will keep you updated in my whereabouts and my trusted advisors will keep you informed about the state of the kingdom. You will rule on my behalf until I come back. If I do not come back, you will marry my second cousin, Thara, and extend the bloodline. Does this plan sound good to you?" I ask him, my eyes meeting his.

Dheeran looks at me like I grew another head. "Why can I not come with you to the battlefield? I do not see why I have to remain behind."

I shake my head. "I did not marry you to get you killed. Although you are a decent fighter, you do not have enough experience in a war zone."

"I can learn," he protests.

I was too tired for this conversation. I had enough problems swirling in my head to have my husband whine about tailing me to war.

"Dheeran, do you trust me?"

He shook his head, his eyebrows scrunching together. His hesitation to answer my question says it all. He does not trust me. Although it was something I've always known, there is a pang in my heart at his very blatant signs of distrust toward me.

"What do you think, your highness?" He asks. "You brought me into this marriage without my full consent, you would not wait for me to get to know you before we consummated the marriage, and you are leaving to fight a baseless war. I'm deeply questioning your leadership and your love for me right now."

I chuckle. He has much to learn about me, my love for him, and my leadership.

There has been no female queen before me. He has no idea about the sacrifices I have made and the work I put in to be in this position. He does not know what horrors I have witnessed in war, the battles I fought to earn a good name amongst the ministers as a capable leader, and the difficult decisions I have made to prove to myself that I have the right to be queen.

He will come to know one day, but today is not the day I can entertain him and his questions.

If he chooses not to trust me, that is fine. I am sure that he will love and trust me given some time.

"You need not trust me, but know that I am doing this for the good of the kingdom. I wished to be rid of my virtue tonight before I depart, and you have given me more than enough. All I ask of you now, is an oath to look after my kingdom in my absence."

"That is a large ask," he says after a moment of reflection. "It is not as if the crown is light as a feather."

I nod. "I thought I could ask you to share the weight of the crown with me, but I guess I cannot," I say, holding back a smirk. "Maybe I should ask another more able-bodied peasant."

His eyes bulge in response to my speculation. He understands what I mean. Of course, I was not going to go act on my words, but I found joy in fooling him.

I smirked at his shock, and left to clean after the mess my dear king made on me, but my endeavours soon became a mere attempt. Dheeran pulled me back by my wrist, and I ended up on top of him. He eyed me as if I was the most precious pearl in the seven seas, and his gaze alone sent shivers up my skin. Why must he be so contradicting? Why can he not say the words I so wish for him to say?

"Say that again, Ayra. I dare you," he says starkly, still holding onto my elbow. His possessiveness was not something I expected, but I found it most enjoyable. I was going to have fun playing with him for the few hours I would be with him.

"Should we get your hearing checked, my king?" I retorted.

He let go of my elbow, but I was entrapped in his piercing gaze. His shoulders were hunched as he lay beneath me, his pulse arrhythmic from our nearness. Dheeran was just as affected by me as I was of him. Yet, he refuses to voice his thoughts.

"My hearing is quite excellent. It was what I heard that appalls me. Are you tired of me already? I never said I was not up for looking after the kingdom in your absence. Yet, you choose to wound me with the implication that you are willing to replace me. Tell me, your highness, has performance ever been disappointing?"

Dheeran was clever, indeed. He was asking not only asking about his performance as the head of a family but as the lead in our marital act. He wanted to know if I enjoyed it, but he was shy to ask outright.

I bit my lip. Maybe my comment about an able-bodied peasant made him think I had not enjoyed tonight. Oh, the perilous thoughts he must be having over this. It almost made me laugh.

"Once," I said, twisting and pulling at his chest hair. I wanted to poke fun at him, as these moments are the only ones I would have with me to remember him by whilst I was away at war.

"When?" He asked curiously.

I leaned into his ear, and whispered, "when you chose not to ask for seconds."