With and Without You

chapter 8

After a long day of car shopping, I check the clock. 5:41pm. I decided to walk over to Max's. It's been longer than I would care to admit sense I last checked on her. At the end of the summer, after everything, her stepfather left, and her mother and her moved into the trailer park across from Eddie. In the first month or so, she would come over, and we would hang out till her mother got home. Wouldn't talk, but we would at least be together. Her mother started drinking. I think the toll of having to take care of her mom began to weigh on Max. Less and less, she came over until she stopped completely. She keeps to herself now. According to Dustin, her and Lucas broke up. She barely acknowledges them now. I know what she's dealing with. The guilt she feels. I feel it, too. We both despised Billy, but.......everyone deals in their own way, I guess. She listens to music. I draw. But maybe I should try harder to get her to talk.

I walk over and knock on the door. No answer. I knock again.
"Max? Max, it's y/n." I say. The door opens a bit. There stands Max with her red hair and dark blue sweatshirt.
"Hey. Did you need something?" She asks suddenly.
"I just wanted to talk. Wanted to see how you and your mom are doing."
"Moms still drinking. Nothing new. I'm fine."
"Max.......you are like my sister. You're not fine. I haven't seen you in months. Even the gang is saying you barely talk to them. You've closed off ever sense Billy. I understand...." She cuts me off.
"Don't.......don't even begin to tell me you know how I feel. You don't. You are not my sister, and you are not me. I don't talk to the gang cause I've grown up." She says, annoyed.
"You've outgrown your friends who have don't nothing but be there for you and support you?! And I do know how you feel. He showed up to that damn mall looking for me! The reason Billy was there was me. He died because of me! He died trying to protect me because I was protecting El! I knew you were safe and risked myself putting him square in the middle of it! So don't you sit and think that you aren't the only one with guilt! I know you have guilt cause you hated him and how he treated you, but I'm not telling you how you should feel! You say you've grown up, but clearly you haven't! Maybe when you have we can talk." I say angry, turning and walking home.

I slam my front door and pace back and forth steaming.
"Who does she think she is!" I say. The reality starts to hit me that I just yelled at Max. I start to break down. I went their to try to get her to open up, and all I've done is push her away. I sit on the floor in the middle of my kitchen as tears start to fall. Just then, my front door opens.
"Y/n, I got the pizzas. I know I know I'm early for once. I.......y/n!" Steve says concerned. Sitting the pizza down, he rushes over to me.
"I'm fine......."
"No, you're not."
"I just went to check on Max and........we fought. I don't think she's going to open up or even talk to me anytime soon." He sits next to me, putting his arm around me.
"She's a kid who's gone through something she never should've. None of us should've. Give her time. She will come back around." I smile at Steve.
"Plus, you are a lot to handle, I mean, everyone needs a break from you eventually." He jokes. I shove his arm. He stands up and holds out his hand. I grab him, and he lifts me up.
"Now, I'm going to run and grab drinks. You go change. Don't forget, Eddie's coming tonight." I roll my eyes.