THIRTEEN

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I must have been having a fucking panic attack because I could have sworn I stood with my back against the wall, knees bent, for minutes after Matt fucked off. 

In fact, I might have been in some sort of shock at what I had just realized. Why did I freeze instead of protest as Matt spit all his venom at me like a monster? What is this thing that looks like it's about to pop out of the fabric of my trousers and where does it come from? What is its source? Matt is a man, and a man I hate. What's happening to me? Am I turned on by the guy who threatens to end my entire school career with a video? If so, what exactly does that make me?

There was a wild roar in my ears, the door banged loudly, and when I thought he was coming back, I quickly covered my face with my palms, pulled my knees to my stomach and swayed almost like a poor fish caught on the end of a fishing rod.

"I'm sorry, Ben, I got detained after class..." It was Luke, and although he looked worried, he made me feel more at ease than I ever had before, "Ben? Are you okay, what's going on?" He ran and grabbed me by the shoulders, exposing my face.

"Nothing..." My mouth began to stutter rapidly without even taking a breath, "Nothing happened, I just..."

I didn't even know why I lied to a good man like Luke. I think I felt embarrassed for no reason, as if he might have known Matt was here right before he arrived, as if he might have been replaying in his mind what happened in his room.

"Are you sure?" he asked again once, "You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Matt just got here." The words flew away in an instant.

"Matt?" Luke turned away from me with an expression of obvious shock, "How did he manage to get into my room? Did he hurt you? Did you let him in?"

"What?" I jumped up quickly, "Of course it wasn't me, he must have gotten in somehow. I guess you must have forgotten to lock the door when you left."

"What does he want from you, Ben?" He looked at me like a hawk for a question he believed only I could answer, "Why does the guy keep coming?"

"Matt asked me to come back to him."

Silence. A strong one...

"Would you?" Luke shivered slightly, his eyes glued to mine, "You know this is a trap, right? Ben, that man left you naked and tied you to a pole. Besides, when I found you, you were having a severe asthma attack, you could have died. Are you aware of that?"

I knew he was right in what he said, but that was just the obvious part. I didn't tell Luke that Matt had his friends record a video of him stroking my dick and threatened to spread it all over campus if I didn't come back to his house. Yet. But I guess I refused to do it because, as always, shame won out.

"You don't have to remind me what kind of guys he and his friends are," I held up my hand, "I know Matt and I really don't want to go back there, but I can't hide in your room forever. Matt thinks you and I are dating."

Suddenly blushing from ear to ear, Luke awkwardly lifted his glasses up to his nose, "Like dating? You know, boyfriends?"

I pursed my lips and crossed my arms, "He'll make my life hell if I don't come back."

"You're on the team now..." He sat down on the bed to groan thoughtfully and put his head in his hands, "But I really don't understand if we're dating or not... What's wrong with him? Why doesn't he just go his own way instead of obsessing over what you're doing?"

"I really don't know about that," I said quietly, "But when I find the answer, I'll let you know."

At that moment, I felt intense disgust at having to use Matt's last words.

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