Mindless

Twenty Seven

~Callie~

My boss. 

I was sleeping with my fucking boss. 

I wish I could say that I was as chill about that fact as I had been when Cole dropped the bomb on me last night at the club but honestly I was on a high from the most thrilling experience of my life this far and I don't think it really sunk in until 4am this morning when the sunrise was burning orange through the curtains and Cole was quietly snoring away beside me. 

I've been with Cole, officially un-fake, for less than 3 weeks but the history we had now, the 5 months of us building to right here, it feels like this has been going on for a lot longer than it had been. The night after the rink earlier this month, Cole claimed that this had never been fake for him and that made our relationship timeline a little weird to me. Because if it was never fake to him, we were 3 months deep into a relationship I'd had no clue was an actual relationship. A relationship that I'd built without sex being the objective for the first time in my life. An actual, living, breathing relationship with mutual exclusivity, titles. My first one. And it just so happened to be with the new owner of the bar. 

I had 2 options really, because it just wasn't sitting right in my chest. I quit working at the bar, leaving myself without a job. Or, I end things with Cole. Both options are ones I don't want to talk but I don't know how I'm going to go to work and know that I'm working for Cole. That he's paying me to be there. Almost as if he's giving me an allowance since he won't let me cover some of the bills. That's a whole lot of power for a boyfriend at this stage to have over me. 

Leaving Cole didn't feel like an option I was even considering right now and that left me solely with quitting. Again. And then what? I had a tonne of money in savings, too much to justify letting it sit there when I have no idea what I'm saving for. I've spent years asking the universe to give me a sign for when was the right time to focus on my future and now it's here, it's terrifying. 

"Someone's up early." Cole wrapped his arms around me as I stared out at the city below us. I hadn't really been out here since I moved in. A balcony that stretches almost the entire length of the apartment. Glass railing that is the perfect height so you don't accidentally fall over the edge and plummet to your death, but not so tall that it's awkward to stand by. Cole has decked it out with comfortable sofas and a coffee table, the whole minimalist bachelor pad vibe from the rest of the apartment pulling through to every corner he owned. 

"How high up do you think you'd need to be to jump from a building and it kill you instantly? Not just broken bones, scrapes and bruises or anything. Because if you fell from the first floor you'd probably be okay but obviously if you fell from 20 floors up, you likely wouldn't be." Cole chuckled as he pressed a kiss to my neck, soft and warm and my eyes flutter shut at his gentle embrace. 

"The balconies here are staggered so if you did fall, you'd only fall a floor or 2 before landing on the floor of someone else's apartment." I craned my head over a little further, seeing the cross cross pattern down the building of smaller balconies sticking out below ours. "Pretty weird thought for 6am on a Wednesday morning." 

"Trust me, I've had weirder thoughts at weirder times."

"Oh, I don't doubt that for a second." Cole tugged on my waist, pulling me around to see him. His eyes were still a little heavy, sleep in the corners but his cheeks are a subtle pink. His lips plush and hair a mess atop his head, still not wearing a shirt so the numerous scratch marks are perfectly visible. "Now, why'd I wake up to an empty bed and find my girlfriend peering over the edge of a too high building curiously asking if she'd be able to jump and not die?" 

"Do I give you my resignation or Mark?" Cole's shoulders dropped a little before he pulled me across to the sofa, pulling me down into his lap carefully so to not spill my coffee. 

"You want to quit?" 

"Well, not really, but it's weird, right? I'm not paying you anything to be here, you won't let me contribute to bills or rent or food or anything, don't let me pay for anything when we go out, my only bill are my dance classes. You got me a new phone and you're refusing to let me pay for it. And now it turns out you're literally handing me money? I feel like a child getting an allowance for doing chores." 

"What do you do with the money?" He sinks down into the corner of the sofa a little more, stealing my cup and taking a slow drink. 

"What do you mean what do I do with it?" 

"Well you're not spending it on bills, you don't buy yourself anything really. Is it just going into savings?" I tipped my head slightly and Cole stiffened slightly. "I'm just thinking. If you want to quit your dead end bar job that your so far above, I'm gonna be the last person on earth to stop you Cal. You're a damn hard worker and the bar would be at a significant loss without your work ethic, but you're also so far above making people's drinks and flirting with people to get tips. You're capable of more things than you are allowing yourself to believe so if you need to quit because you don't want me paying you, that's a valid reason to leave. I just don't want you to go looking for another dead end job because you feel safe following other people's orders. If you've got the money saved, spend it on what you want to do. On a career, a business, a future where you're doing something that makes all the work you put into everything you do, worth it." 

I laid my head down onto Cole's shoulder, looking out at the tops of city buildings. It's so peaceful out here. Almost above the clouds but not quite. Like we're looking out onto everyone else's world. Traffic noises on the ground are audible but distant. A handful of birds chirp close by but not close enough that I'm looking for them. It's our own little world up here. Just me and Cole. Our breathing slowly syncs up as he traces his hand over my thigh. 

"Let's get away for your birthday. A few days out of this place might be good for you."