Atonement

Gaining some gall but failing- Floyd's Pov

The first year passed with relative ease, however my heart was still clenching for Veneer but watching him right now babble about how his new cellmate Jagger snuck him a cookie and how they sung country songs together made the heart ache go away, as I'm glad that he was thriving with better influences on him suddenly his voice called back out to me,

"What do you think?" My eyes went down to what he was showing me and saw his pant leg rolled up to see a lace band tattoo gripping his fuzzy right thigh, I non verbally choked at his new feature.

"Did you get a tattoo!?" My voice cracked as he nodded his head as he flashed his pearly whites in a heart melting smile before he chirped,

"Well yeah people in prison get those right? Jagger did it for me!" Those big doe eyes fluttered at me as he awaited my response. They seemed so eager for my response but my throat felt as if it was stuffed with cotton.

"..." I bit my lip as I could faintly see the faint stretch marks on his fuzzy thighs as he gained an healthy amount of weight in a hasty amount of time since he didn't have Velvet controlling his diet on top of everything else too, I wonder if he had love handles too along with a soft squishy abdomen but his soft coo interrupted my thoughts on his cute amount of weight,

"Soooooooo whatcha think~" he eagerly awaited my response as his tail thumped against the table.

"It looks nice on you" I was lying, it looked stunning on him but If I let my true thoughts show I'm afraid of him not accepting my feelings and even rejecting me. My heart couldn't take the pain of a confirmed one sided love. For right now I'd rather live in the hope and dreams that one day he'd possibly return my feelings.

"Thanks! It hurt quite a lot, Jagger had to use a ball-point pen ink and make-shift sewing needle." I suddenly regretted believing that this jagger guy was a good influence on him as I sat down on the wooden table with Veneer acoss from me, his tail cutely wagging as he seemed much happier with his mental health now being a priority.

He told me about his therapy session this week and how he finally is learning to forgive himself for the things i've already forgiven him for a long time ago. But he sighed and started to lament,

"I just wonder what's going to happen to me once I get out... I mean I just don't know where I'm gonna go, I'll be out of the spotlight but... *sigh* I just don't know." He rested his chin in his hand as he tried to figure out a plan for himself once he left before I was able to fully control myself I blurted out,

"My brother Bruce is looking for a full time employee at his restaurant, I mean I could put in a good word for you." My guts turned themselves into knots as his eyes widened at my bold claim. His face flushing at my kind gesture and he scooted closer to me a hopeful look in his soft sapphires before he let out a soft coo of,

"Really you'd do that for me?" I'd do so much more but I don't think you'd be ready for all my heart's intentions towards you yet. After all I'm still struggling to fully understand them myself and am scared of you not feeling the same way that I do.

"Yeah... We're close friends right?" I shyly scooted closer to him as my face caught heat as his eyes watered and he nodded his head sniffling with an adorable small smile on his face. I could smell him from here and feel his body heat radiating off of him due to our close proximity.

I hated that F word when it came to the two of us as the year of me visiting progressed but I didn't have the guts to step up to ask him what his genuine feeling towards me are. I knew I was being a coward. I wish I had guts the way Branch had when he asked Poppy to be his girlfriend in front of a whole audience around them, but I guess I'll always be the shy sensitive one.