Into Your Gravity ( Luna Lovegood & Tom Riddle )

Chapter twenty-five: Hogsmeade

"What is the difference between love and obsession? ... Love was like rain, it turned to ice, or it disappeared. Now you saw it, now you couldn't find it no matter how hard you might search. ... Obsession tasted like something familiar. Something you'd known your whole life. It settled and lurked; it stayed with you."
-Alice Hoffman, The Ice Queen
•

A week and a half later, the charm was successfully in place. Harry had chosen the password "Raskolnikov," a name only Hermione and Luna recognized as the main character in Crime and Punishment. Harry had read quite frequently while shut up in his cupboard, mostly the classic novels the Dursley's felt obliged to keep in the house yet never read themselves; Crime and Punishment was one such novel. Luna's father had always encouraged her to explore the muggle world. Having few opportunities for study of live muggles, Luna had instead done so by reading everything from Shakespeare to Dostoevsky, and Bronte to the Grimm brothers. Hermione, as the resident bookworm, of course recognized the name as well.

Harry had chosen the name, hoping it was sufficiently random and muggle enough to erase the chance of Voldemort ever guessing it. The only draw back was having to teach Neville how to pronounce it.

Harry also reported a sudden spike in the number of time Voldemort tried to enter his head. It became obvious when this was happening, as Harry would suddenly fall silent, squeezing his eyes shut in concentration, his hands balling in fists. Each time this happened, Luna felt her heart do a strange leap-plummet – leaping at first at the thought of Tom; plummeting with guilt and worry. She had come to mentally call the feeling simply, "The Leaplummet," referring to it as such only in her quiet moments alone with Othello.

After a few days of quiet conversations with Luna, Harry began to consider the idea that maybe Voldemort had truly loved her, or at least cared something for her. Luna sensed this change, as well as the new respect it brought, and appreciated it immensely.

She and Harry had both silently come to the conclusion (self-deprecating and slightly unsure on Luna's part) that the sudden, fervent energy Voldemort was putting forth into his attacks on Harry's mind had to do with the fact that when Voldemort had broken through, Luna's face was all he could see.

While sleeping, nightmares began to plague Luna. In her dreams, the Death Eaters were attacking the castle. Luna was running frantically in search of Harry, trying desperately to find him before one of the Death Eaters or Voldemort found him. As she was rounding a corner in the corridors, she saw Harry. He wasn't all right, though; he was lying down in the middle of the corridors. Trying to shout to him, she found her voice wouldn't work, and as she neared his body, a tall, ugly snake-man that only extremely vaguely resembled her Tom would step out of the shadows. "I knew it was you," the snake-man would whisper, and then Luna would jolt awake to find herself in tears. Ridiculous as the dreams were, she could not help but fear them. Should anything happen to Harry now, she would forever blame herself for it.

                                •

A Hogsmeade visit was scheduled in the second week of October. Luna had finally agreed to go after much prodding from Harry. "You need to go!" Harry had said. And secretly, hardly even understanding himself, he needed for her to go. He seemed to always want her by his side. Part of this was because Harry had grown attached to Luna, more than he would ever admit. And, deep down, in a place in his heart he never explored if it was avoidable, Harry needed her there because, should Voldemort ever break through again, he wanted Tom to see Luna. He wanted him to know that Harry had the one person that Voldemort may have ever truly cared for. He wanted Voldemort to see it, to know it, and to feel the loss all over again. Several times, Harry had considered letting Voldemort see Luna's face clearly, if only for a moment. But he hadn't done so, and he knew he never would. It was dangerous, reckless, and selfish. It would likely hurt Luna as well as Voldemort. Still, the thought was strangely tempting.