By All Means, Fear [AJR]

Chapter 7

"GODDAMMIT!" i shout. "WE JUST LOST JACK!" I quickly lean Dan against the wall and sat Jack up.

"Come on, Jack," i said, my voice raspy and my throat in pain. "Wake up, buddy. I know you're still in there." I pulled his hat over his face and started crying even more.

I lost my cousin. I lost my afterschool hangout buddy. And now i lost my best friend, and.... I didn't know what to think of any of it.

I looked at Tom with a tear-struck face, and he gasped. He looked at Shawn, and Chelsea looked at me.

"What?" she whispered. "I don't know you as well as Tom does." I sighed, slowly nodding to myself. I may as well tell her. I had nothing more to lose, anyway. I lost my parents, brother, and three of my best friends.

But i decided, instead of telling Chelsea, i'd show her. I lifted Jack's hat up, cupped his face in my hands, and i kissed him.

I pulled back and started crying again. I threw my arms over his shoulders, not knowing what to think.

"Steve?" someone said softly. I looked up to see Adam and Ryan. "What happened?" Ryan asked. "I don’t know," i said softly. "He passed out right then and there without a cause."

Adam knelt down and smiled at me. "You guys can come to our apartment," he said. "We can try and figure out what happened."

We're in Adam's car, driving the six blocks from Central Park to their apartment. I hadn't been there since Jack's twenty-first birthday, and it'd feel even weirder after what i had done.

Chelsea sat between me and Tom. Dan was in front of Chelsea, and Jack was sitting on next to him, in front of me. Shawn was sitting in front of Tom. None of us said anything until we got to their apartment.

When we got there, we put Jack on his bed, Shawn on Ryan's bed, and Dan on Adam's bed. Then we all sat on the couch with nothing to say. Then one of Jack's brothers broke the silence.

"Steve, i didn't know you liked Jack," Ryan said softly. I shrugged. "I just didn't want to....talk about it," i mumbled. "It was weird to bring it up. I told everyone i was bi, but no one asked how i figured it out, so i never said anything."

Chelsea set a hand on my shoulder. "It's cool," she told me. "I mean, it's also normal. Tom's gay, Shawn's pan, i'm lesbian, you're bi, Xavier is bigender. Look around. We're here for you."

I give Chelsea a small smile. "Thanks," i said. "It felt good to finally get that all off my chest." I leaned back and closed my eyes.

"You look pretty relaxed," Adam commented. "I feel a bit relaxed about it," i replied. "Not about them passing out, but, y'know." Adam nods.

"I wouldn't have guessed, either," Tom breaks in. "Jack may like you back. We don't know. We only known he's ever liked Alba back in high school. And we all know how that went."

We share a knowing look. Alba had played him like a blues harmonica: sweet and comforting with hidden hatred.

"So, what do we do about them three?" Ryan asks, jerking his thumb at the bedrooms. We all shrug in reply. "Maybe leave them be?" Chelsea suggests. "Anyone want to watch something?" Adam asks. "Let's watch a movie," Tom adds. "SONIC."