My Husbands Mistake

Out In The Air

Sebastian

6 months prior

      My head was desperately trying to grasp my surroundings, the noise of traffic outside the hotel confused me. The last thing I remember was drinking to drown out the voice in my head telling me I was the stupidest man in the world. My beautiful wife and I had spent the previous night arguing over everything going wrong in our lives and marriage. I was aware of her distress but avoided conversing with her, I came home late enough that she was asleep and made sure I was gone before she stirred in the morning.  I guess in most ways I was resentful of her. She spent every day with our girls relaxing and enjoying time with them while I slaved at work to provide her and the girls with the luxury they are used to. Chaya always sent me pictures and videos of her and the girls out at the movies, shopping or exploring the city together. Never including me and it irritated me when my phone chimed daily to alert me of another adventure I'd missed out on with my family. So to avoid the confrontation I stayed away from Chaya. 

      So when Chaya finally confronted me, it surprised the hell out of me because my wife was never one for fighting or speaking up about her emotions. That also tipped me over the edge, I lost my temper with her and it ended in tears. Not being able to watch the damage I had done to my wife I ran out. Found myself at a bar with my assistant, which was a whole other problem in itself with my wife due to the amount of time I spent with Carly. But I found comfort in Carly that I was no longer feeling with Chaya, Carly allowed me to talk freely about issues with my home life and confiding in her was a breath of fresh air compared to the silent hours Chaya and I spent together staring at opposite walls in bed. I missed genuine conversation and intimacy. Which led me to this moment and a little help from the scotch I was drinking throughout the night. 

      I turned over and saw the distinct red hair of my assistant, her back bare to my eyes. The silk drift of her spine and curves which were cut off by the cheap hotel linen lying on her waist. I glanced down at myself and found the disturbing sight of my naked body. Panic shot through my body with only one thought repeating through my head. What have I done?

--------------------------

I knew as soon as the words left Chaya's mouth what she was referring to. I couldn't bear the thought that my wife didn't love me anymore, it was so unimaginably impossible for me to grasp. Chaya always told me that the moment she laid eyes on me she knew I was the man she was going to spend the rest of her life with. So searching my wife's eyes for the truth I found the air refusing to enter my lungs. 

She doesn't love you

She doesn't love you 

She doesn't love you anymore

My hand automatically bangs into my chest, slapping it. Trying to force myself to breathe.

While I struggled for breath Chaya stood motionless watching me, not one bit of concern on her face. 

How did we get here Chaya baby?

You put us here 

"Chaya please just give it time baby, don't make a decision right now when you are in this state of mind. I love you so much and I will do anything to make this right" I knew my voice was full of desperation, pleading with her to reconsider the divorce. I could not go on in this life without her by my side. 

"Not that my state of mind is any of your concern but I assure you I'm thinking clearer than I have in 10 years" 

Her words did not only dig deep into my soul and crush it but I could tell by her tone that she meant every word. I thought she fled me because she couldn't say any of this to my face, so I chased her out here because the Chaya I know would never be able to say such things to anyone's face. But here she was, shooting these lethal words at me, her husband.

Insinuating that our whole marriage, every ounce of love we shared was not reciprocated in reality. Her words burned my insides, the thought of Chaya and the girls no longer being in my life was like a knife continuously being jabbed into my windpipe. 

"Chaya I know you're mad, hurt and trying to find an escape but don't ever imply that our marriage is not true, it is. I love you with every bone in my body. Even now, standing here watching you stand there seemingly unaffected by our separation, my soul begs for you to be closer to me. I love every little thing about you and no matter how much or how far you push me away I will ALWAYS love you"

And for the first time in two months, she broke in front of me, just for a second. Her compassion, love and concern for me showed through her eyes. A simple flicker of her eyes and I knew my wife was still here with me. 

"Sebastian.."

"No, Chaya please"

"I need you to let me go, you and I both know you have not been faithful to me. I need a husband who respects me, my dreams and especially my ambitions and you never have. Yes, I love you and a part of me will always love you but I can't let you dictate my life like this. I might seem like I always seem so happy like I always have everything figured out. But, the truth is I haven't had a clue who I am ever since I found out I was pregnant with Maya. Now after years of putting my faith and trust in you, it was like you took that in your hands and ripped it apart... ripped me apart"

"Are you.. Chaya, are you saying you didn't even know if you wanted to marry me?"

puffs of air were breaking through my lips, not knowing whether I was distraught or so mad smoke was about to blow out of my ears 

"Sebastian... Ive never known any other man.."

"Because you are and always were MY woman"

"See! Right fucking there!"

"You control every aspect of my life and then stand there and act like you have no choice like my life is so perfect, so easy. Yet here I've been for YEARS following every command you throw at me, and for what? You to turn around and fuck your assistant!"

My mouth closed shut because every word that passed her lips was the full truth

"I didn't..."

"Okay, Humour me this! Have you cheated on me in the past eight months Sebastian? And I swear to god if you dare lie to my face I will never forgive you!"

Do I tell my wife the truth? or do I try to convince her it isn't true and have a chance to turn this around otherwise I know for a fact if I tell her about Carly she won't waste one more second on me.

"...yes"

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Oh hey! sorry I didn't see you there!

jkkkk

I am deeply sorry for the last month, things have been absolutely crazy in my life. Idk if I mentioned but I have a cuteeee chocolate lab and he is my whole world. 

Wellllll I had to move several hours away from him to go to nursing school and its been extremely tough. I have really tried to keep in contact with you guys a bit but its been so hard to find time to write when I have so much on my plate, so super duper sorry again!!

And for a side note, I know some of you are not a fan of Sebastian but he goes through character development over the story and I hope the flashback in the beginning cleared up a few things for a couple of you guys that were confused. 

Byeeeeee