Rebound

To Lose Your Temper

August, 31

Holy crap, I haven't been this happy in so long. Why am I even happy? I really shouldn't be. I've been beaming ever since I got out of detention yesterday. It's because Austyn talked to me, and I finally got to hear his voice, and he was curious as to who Dani was! He knows he was my only friend, so he must be very confused. And- he must think me and Dani are really close because of the mention of the poem and letter. It's obviously not what he thinks, but I'm obviously not going to tell him that. He can sulk all he wants, he had me crying all summer after betraying me last year. My life was more hell then it already was when he left me. It still is, but I can do without him, I know that. But that's not going to stop me from wanting to be his friend again. I still miss him even after all the mistreatment, and the lying.. and the denying.. and the back stabbing. It doesn't matter now. The only thing I could do was run away, and now I'm back to probably have the same thing happen if I get any closer. That's why I shut him out while trying to talk to me. I just don't like getting hurt that badly. It's awful.

The football guys still make their remarks, but they've been keeping their distance. Probably because I punched their quarterback and best offender in the face. It does me good, though. Until then, I will wait until Hector James finally decides to beat me up in the boys locker room while everyone's at lunch.

Thinking about that stuff does not make me sad at all right now. I've had this contagious grin planted on my face, and my face muscles start hurting. I haven't smiled this much in forever.

I told Yani and Dani about everything that had happened. I told them about Austyn, and they're really supportive of me. Dan even threatened to take on Austyn and Hector himself, but I told him that wasn't necessary(for Austyn only really, Dan can do whatever he wants to Hector for all I care).

Austyn, back to silently staring at me wherever he can find me. Yes, I've realized he's been actually looking for me. I swear, he's everywhere. He doesn't even hide it around his girlfriend, and she'll even peer at me, confused. He even found me outside in the back court meditating during lunch, stood and watched for about 30 seconds, and went back inside.

He definitely wants to say something.

I'm glad to see that my presence back at Arlington has taken a great toll on him. Again, the fact that he doesn't even hide it. Yes, Austyn. Have my presence make you miserable without me having to do anything. I like what I see, I hope you suffer more, you piece of shit.

September, 3

Nevermind, it's getting out of hand. I don't know if it was intentional but he's at the library right now. He was here first, but was by my usual spot, realizing it had been used again because all of the sticky notes were thrown away(I threw them away). He knew it was me.

I feel.. like I'm beginning to feel desperate. What is it he wants to say to me?

Can he hurry up?!

After approximately 10 minutes of reading I lifted my head up to find Austyn gone again.

Felix is back.

And he made us dinner.

He is surprisingly a good cook. I could eat his food forever. Now that I know this, I guess I could tolerate him staying. The only problem is that he's nosy. Especially when I'm in the dining room writing. When he asks questions I try to be vague. I caught him glancing at my laptop screen coming out from the bathroom. I held the urge not to shout at him and mind his business. I was upset because it was about Austyn and if he had seen it I would've been very upset. Next time it happens I'm going to demand my mother talk with him, I've already told him no.