Weak (for the) He(te)ro (in) Class 1

1 - Everything wasn't Fine until You came Along.

On a hot day in July, Yeon Sieun was told that he would be starting Year 9 at a new school by September. It was called Byeoksan Secondary. He wasn't sure how he felt, but he knew it didn't matter because it wasn't his decision to make. He wished it was.

As the 'why' had long since escaped him, because his mind did not consider it important enough to remember, Sieun put his thoughts pertaining to the 'why' elsewhere. Though sometimes things would escape him that way—some fell victim to time, others, Sieun got rid of himself. Like how his father never really wanted to have him (the reason being something about parenting not being as easy as his father thought it was and that he didn't expect Sieun to be such a sickly child). Yeon Sieun was no expert; he wasn't even a parent himself, but even he could go into childcare knowing that it would not be easy in the slightest. Because then he would be much more confident in doing his best. He would be as present as possible in the child's life and work through the difficult patches as opposed to complaining about them within earshot of said child. It's not an exact science; it's a practice.

But Sieun was no expert. He held nothing against his present-absent father, because at least his father didn't send him to live with a family member or leave him on the side of the road. His father ensured there was a roof over his head, clothes on his back, and food on the table (even though Sieun was the one who maintained the house, bought or mended his clothes if he needed to, and kept himself fed). No, Yeon Sieun held nothing against his father at all. Nor his mother, who was no longer his mother—just the woman who gave birth to him and then left to become a professor—watching over her son through video lectures.

Some people simply weren't fit to be parents and realised this far too late in life. Though his parents still had their humanity and carried out their duties, the manner in which they did so may not be on par with the 'world's perfect parents'—whatever that means—but they did so, all things considered.

And so he spent the rest of the summer holidays preparing himself as best he could for the new term. It wasn't ideal that his parents had moved him during the period wherein Sieun needed to put all his focus on studying in order to efficiently and successfully sit through his mocks when the time came with no distractions, but in Sieun's opinion, he'd rather not move at all. Again, his opinion didn't matter. As far as his parents were concerned, all Sieun knew was to revise. And learn. And study—there was not a thing that 'our Sieun' was bad at. However, that wasn't true. There were plenty of things Sieun was bad at. Like making friends and socialising with others, treating himself like a human with emotions instead of a robot programmed to study until the end of time. Like being a child and doing childish things. Because that's what he was—is. Yeon Sieun is an isolated, friendless boy who knows nothing of the outside world. With no one but himself to rely on and be protected by.

—

Some days before the start of Term 1, Sieun's mother sent him what seemed to be her idea of a 'care package'. Sieun didn't think there was anything 'caring' about it. Books of varying sizes containing information on a plethora of subjects (most of them, unsurprisingly, were maths-related) and a booklet so pristine you'd think it was freshly printed, with pages of reference links and details to different revision sites followed by a blank spreadsheet ready to be filled in, entitled 'Sieuni's Study Plan (made with lots of love by Mum!)'.

Reading the note that was written in somebody else's handwriting almost immediately drew a monumental sigh from Sieun, who felt the bitter distance between him and his mother grow, as opposed to any sort of humorous warmth someone else might feel if their relationship with their mother wasn't as non-existent as Sieun's was with his. He supposes he should be grateful that she thought of him at all while curating this package, though the watermark-covered cellophane and the repeatedly stamped exterior reading 'SAMPLE-KS3-REVISION-PACK-DO-NOT-RESELL', begged him to think otherwise. In its own small way, this was a fully fledged conversation between him and his mum—somewhere in the world. He knew she wasn't struggling financially because she had new products out and on the market. He knew she was in a high enough position to have someone else write that note on her behalf. He knew she remembered having a son. Who she never called or wrote to.