On Board {A Solangelo Pirate AU}

19: Nico. Just, Like, Talk To Him

NPOV

I was a miserable idiot and a horrible person. Really. Because when Will took my hand and asked to dance, all I could think was that I wanted him to stay. I wanted him to dance with me forever. I took his hand and headed out towards the dance floor.

Frank could play the violin, and so could Hazel, so they switched off playing the whole night. I let my head fall into Will's shoulder. I wanted him to stay here. I was a horrible person.

We would arrive at Honnet in five days, and then I'd never see him again and I was okay with that. Of course I was okay with that. (Even though the aching in my heart said otherwise.) Because I wanted him to be happy, and he wouldn't be happy on our boat. Besides, I wasn't Gabe. I wouldn't take him away from everything he loves just because I want him.

His arms were warm. The temperatures were low right now, especially at night. I shivered, and he pulled me closer to absorb his warmth.

"How are your parents doing?" I asked. "You must be missing them."

He nodded. "My dad still sells medical equipment. My mom mostly stays at home."

"Your mom was an amazing cook," I remembered.

He grinned. "I'll let you know if she's looking for any jobs as pirate chefs."

I laughed. "We would certainly appreciate her, but didn't she get motion sick from a carriage ride once?"

"My father, too. It's a miracle I can even step outside without getting motion sickness, what with the genes they passed on to me."

"Ha. You've actually done rather well overall on this trip, really. Most people get accustomed to the rocking after a while anyway, but you didn't seem bothered at the start. I'm impressed."

He winked at me. "Good. Of course I only did it to impress you."

Though I knew he was joking, my cheeks still went pink. I wasn't used to his open flirting yet. It still felt as if we should be hiding it. Being brave was supposed to be my strength, and yet he seemed to be the one with the courage to ask me to dance and to hold my hand. Maybe he was braver than I gave him credit for. He had fought in that battle just like the rest of us, after all.

I wish I was brave like him.

I wish he would stay so I could learn to be brave like him. But I would never ask him to do that.

"You looking forward to working that fish stand again, Solace?" I teased.

"Mm. Shut up. You know I am not. Maybe he'll fire me for my absence."

"Use the kidnapping as an excuse. 'Sir, I'm very traumatized after being brutally kidnapped by an infamous pirate gang. They were truly terrifying, and I'm afraid I'm in no state to work.'"

He laughed. "That's brilliant. Thank you."

"No problem. When you're spending your vacation on the beach eating tropical fruit, make sure to send some my way."

"Mm. I'll think about it."

The music changed, and we fell into silence. Was this our last dance? No, I couldn't think like that. I was never going to be able to enjoy my last days with him if I kept a countdown of all the last things we did together. I was going to miss him like hell, but this was the right thing to do.

The remaining days passed similarly to that night. I'd felt guilty for locking him in that cell after the battle, but the more I thought about it, the more I was sure I had made the right decision. If Will would've been out fighting with us from the start, he would've been killed. One swipe from Gabe had nearly taken him out, and he'd only been there for like two minutes.

And now that the guilt had passed, I found myself purposefully spending every extra minute I had with him. I had to make up for all the time I was going to lose. I had to make up for all the time I'd already lost. I now regretted spending that first week ignoring him—had I not seen that I would have restricted time with him?

But it didn't feel like I was making it better for myself. I felt like every second I spent with him tore at me, because if he knew I wanted him to stay, he would surely hate me forever. And every moment I spent with him made my heart ache for the fact that I could not have him in the future.

Word Count:  767