Asystole ✷ Mark Sloan

𝟬𝟳𝟭 don't go breaking my heart

𝙇𝙓𝙓𝙄.
DON'T GO BREAKING MY HEART
(I WON'T GO BREAKING YOUR HEART)

──────

SEATTLE

SHE HADN'T REALISED that she was holding her breath until that apartment door was closed.

It closed with a soft thud, leaving her fingertips with the sort of release that made her lungs quiver. 

She felt the lock catch, the wood settle into place and the air seal. She felt it close at the bottom of her stomach. 

There was a moment, a second of time and then a shift in her stomach, one that made muscles begin to unlock across her body-- that door and her body couldn't be locked at the same time.

Beth hadn't realised the tension in her body until it was releasing. Little muscles all across her body were growing loose and soft until her arms swung low and her head was too heavy to be held up by her neck anymore; she paused in front of the door, her chest heaving a little bit as her whole being just ached.

 (God, she was tired. She's been tired for the last two months, but this seemed to just really... really...) 

Briefly, she found herself resting her forehead on the door. Just for a handful of seconds. A few messy seconds where she felt the world spinning a little too quickly and that sick dizzy feeling--

Okay. She stepped backwards and, very slowly, made her way across the apartment.

Her purse was dumped in the kitchen, shoes in the living room and sanity at the door. She pressed a hand to her forehead and wracked her fingers through her hair until she was sure she was leaving trails on her scalp. 

Another few seconds where Beth completely lost her train of thought: What was she doing? Where was she going? Why was everything going too fast and too quickly?

But, then she set her eyes on the bedroom door. It was slightly ajar, allowing the shadows of the inside to creep out. 

They lurked out of the corner of her eye and she stalled at the countertop, staring over at the overcast room. 

She stooped only briefly to put away some of the groceries she'd picked up on her way home. Once she was finished, she set her cell phone to mute and abandoned it on the dining table.

With a sigh, Beth bypassed all of the stacked wedding magazines, Addie's impromptu wedding planner and the binder full of receipts. 

Everything was completely untouched from how they'd left it. Everything was perfectly chaotic in the way that only a Montgomery would understand-- Beth felt a weight build at the bottom of her throat by just looking at it. 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck--

The bedroom was silent. 

Stepping inside had the exact effect that she'd hoped it would have; she peered into a dark cave of still air. It quivered very slightly alongside the exhales of the man buried under a comforter and half a dozen pillows.

 Faintly, she could hear his light snores as he dug himself deeper and deeper into the mattress. 

A very subtle, fond smile twitched on her lips as she closed the door behind her.