Asystole ✷ Mark Sloan

𝟬𝟲𝟬 romantic psychodrama

𝙇𝙓.
ROMANTIC PSYCHODRAMA

──────

tw: PTSD and trauma!
a lot of v emotional messy things
please take care! you health is not more important
than you readership!
if you need to sit this one out dw!

NO. NO. NO.

Wait.

Lexie couldn't keep up.

Things had been moving too quickly. 

She couldn't explain how or why, but she knew that things were happening too fast. 

The world was spinning too quickly, the sun was rising too fast and the clocks were moving too— too fast. Too fast. 

Lexie was really struggling to keep up. 

People were walking too quickly, cars were passing too fast and god... she wished they'd just slow down.

Time was going and going and going and Lexie couldn't keep pace. Going, going, going—

How had two months passed? She felt like she was still stuck in the hospital counting down the minutes on the clock, waiting for someone to kick down the door. Didn't people know how to slow down? Two months didn't feel long enough. 

She'd spent an hour and a half with her knees in blood and her fingers trembling and that had felt so long to her; even when she'd had a gun in her face and a twitch in her eye that hadn't gone away— that had felt so long. 

Why didn't two months feel long? It'd been a blink of an eye (a repetitive twitch that really hadn't gone away).

Lexie hadn't left that boardroom. She hadn't left the hospital corridor. She hadn't left the supply closet or the surgical reception. She hadn't left that corner that she'd cowered behind as she watched Beth get shot in front of her eyes— 

Two months hadn't been long enough at all.

People were moving on and Lexie felt trapped. 

She watched people return to their lives and it felt like that day all over again; people were suddenly so normal, so calm, so composed and they were faster and quicker than her.

She'd left the building that day but half of her had been left behind; it was weird, out of all of the textbooks that she'd studied, all of the medicine she'd been taught, they'd never said that you can be somewhere physically but mentally somewhere else.

 Lexie hadn't even realised what was happening until it happened.

It wasn't as if she suddenly felt lighter the moment she'd stepped over the threshold of the hospital— half of your mind was heavy, right? 

But no, she felt heavier. She'd entered Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital empty and left with her boyfriend's dying body and enough thoughts to keep her head low for much longer than two months.

Things were moving so fast and Lexie felt as though she was constantly trying to catch her breath. While people sat at a dinner table and cursed each other out over greasy pizza, Lexie was still trying to sprint in their shadow. 

How could people go to dinner? Lexie couldn't think about anything but that day; she couldn't think about food, she couldn't think about dinner, she couldn't think about eating, she couldn't think about conversation—