Made of Things

Winter's End - 19

It was going to storm soon. Jinx loved the smell of incoming rain, so she wasn't bothered.

The sky was gray, the filtered sunlight making everything hues of blue. It was windy.

She was cold, standing beside the west wing where there was only soil or grass. Her mind was blank with the gloomy sky and muted colors of the world around her.

It wasn't peaceful, the wind was too loud for that, but it was nice. It was grounding.

"Yeong?" She called for his attention as soon as the thought formed.

He took the few steps to be within distance for a normal conversation.

"Will you teach me to fight?"

A beat, then he said, "Excuse me?"

"Will you teach me to fight, Yeong?" She looked to him, making it clear that was the question she wanted an answer to.

"No." He answered simply. No heat, no argument.

"No?" Jinx frowned, "I need to, so I can defend myself."

"You'll never have to defend yourself around me," he was sure of his words, absolutely confident and serious.

"What if you're not there?" She doubted it, but anything was possible. The thought just nagged at her that she couldn't protect herself if she wanted.

"That shouldn't happen," Yeong shook his head.

"What if?"

"I'm not teaching you how to fight, princess."

"Why? What will I do if it happens?" It was a real possibility. It felt more real than any other 'what if'. She couldn't let it go just yet. That banquet had been a nightmare.

"You run. Hide. Or die."

The princess was stunned into silence. She couldn't believe the words she was hearing. "...What?"

"Run, hide, or die. Those are your options if I'm not around to protect you," Yeong's tone was final. No room for arguing, and no reasoning with him.

She stared at him, a deeper frown forming on her lips.

"If you have to defend yourself, how would you handle it?" He asked in a tone she had never heard from him before. He was testing her.  "It's their life or yours."

"If it's their life or mine, then it's not me," her words scared her, an ugly feeling in her chest, but she meant them.

Yeong narrowed his eyes, silently asking her to elaborate further.

"If they dare to kill me, then I dare to kill them," said simply,  but Jinx was aware how intense her energy was right then.

"You see, right there. Anger," Yeong's voice still had an edge to it. "Killing out of anger will take your sanity once you calmed down."

"Hm," Jinx assessed the man in front of her. Calm, cool, collected Yeong. He was perfectly sane.

"Your sanity," he seemed to know the question as it formed in her mind. "Without anger, you have to be cold to kill and survive. It just costs your humanity instead."

The princess hummed thoughtfully. She could see that. As closed off as his demeanor could be, she could easily imagine Yeong being cold, hostile, heartless when it was necessary.