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Mourning a Friendship - Takashi Mitsuya

Word Count: 1419

Parinig: Takashi Mitsuya x Transmasculine!reader

Summary: After Having a falling out with one of your best friends, Takashi is there to reassure you that it's okay to mourn your lost friendship and offer pizza and anime as comfort.

Warnings: Mentions of toxic friendship, some implied transphobia, reader is afab trans masculine, loss of friendship

A/n: Hello, first fic of 2024 and we're starting the year with angst and comfort. I'd say this takes place sometime in the final timeline where everything is happy. This is also loosely based on some stuff I went through last year, so it was kinda self indulgent of me to write but hey I love Takashi and just want him to comfort me in times of dysphoria. It's not the best but I'm trying to push past some writer's block so I hope you enjoy it. Any way Remember to Hydrate or Diedrate and requests are open.

It's never easy admitting when a relationship needs to end. Accepting the fact that someone you care about greatly, no longer fits in your life, is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I will admit that both sides were in the wrong at times and no one is perfect but I can't help but to feel betrayed and slightly ashamed. If you told me a year ago that I would lose one of my closest friends, I would have probably called you crazy and walked away, but alas here I sit devastated because I had to end one of the best friendships I've had in a long time.

That's how my loving boyfriend Takashi Mitsuya found me, crying in our shared bed, hiding from the fact that I lost someone I thought would be with me for the rest of my life. Being the kind and supportive person he is, Takashi didn't push me to talk or explain anything, he just joined me on the bed and wrapped me in his arms, pulling me to his chest and letting me cry. We sat for probably an hour before I was finally able to talk.

When he no longer felt my body shake from crying he gently lifted my chin to look me in the eyes. "Do you wanna talk about it?" He asked calmly, no sign of pressure to talk it out in his voice or expression, just concern for his partner.

I sighed before nodding sitting up so I was next to him so we could talk in a more comfortable position. "You know how me and Jaina haven't been talking much recently?" I asked, receiving a quick nod and motion for me to continue. "Well that's because last time we hung out, she made a comment about how the reason she hasn't introduced me to her family yet is because she wants to wait until I have my top surgery, to and I quote 'prevent them from misgendering you, because it's still easy to tell you're a female.' Obviously it rubbed me the wrong way. It should have been a discussion of if I wanted to meet them and if we both agreed on that it'd be one thing but her just deciding without asking if I was okay with it felt like she's just embarrassed to have a transgender friend." As I explained what happened Takashi's face morphed from calm to one of pure confusion and lastly back to calm but there was clear anger in his eyes.

"So, what you're saying is one of your best friends refuses to introduce you to her family because you're trans, and had the audacity to then also misgender you, to your face?" He asked clarifying what I had said. I just nodded once again realizing how terrible that conversation had been. "You have a right to be upset about it, but why didn't you tell me sooner? I know how much that kind of thing affects you. Is that why you were crying when I got home?" He continued still looking for answers but not wanting to push it too much.

I laid my head on his shoulder before responding. "I didn't tell you when it happened because at the time I just brushed it off, I was feeling really happy otherwise at the time so it wasn't a huge deal just made me hesitant to talk with her again. And no it's not why I was crying, well not entirely. She messaged me earlier asking if we were okay and it just made me think of all the bullshit we've been through and how at some point our friendship went from besties to people who just nitpick everything the other does. It was honestly beginning to feel like a chore trying to keep the friendship in tact. So, that's what I told her, I explained that in my opinion we had come to a point where it was no longer healthy to keep holding on to the friendship." I explained, tears welling up again recounting the gist of my conversation from earlier in the day. "I told her that it would be best to end the friendship. She then tried to fight for it saying that we were just going through a rough patch and when I brought up her comments from the last time we hung out she tried to play it off as her trying to protect me. It just hurt so bad seeing her fight for something that clearly passed the point of fixing. I told her that I was done and stopped responding. Ultimately I guess I was crying because I thought we would be friends for life and admitting that it probably wasn't meant to be, hurt so bad. I don't know what to do Taka." I finished turning my face into his neck, letting the tears fall for my broken friendship.

He didn't respond right away, just gently rubbed my back and played with my hair. It was clear he was trying to think of a response. "You keep going, simple as that. You were right to say that it wasn't healthy, I've been watching you slowly crumble as you worked to keep it going. Don't be too hard on yourself, let yourself mourn the friendship and give yourself time to move on. Just take your time to reflect on everything, remember the good times and then let it pass. I'm not saying forget her and the stuff you did, but accept that while there were so many great things that happened with her, there were ultimately too many bad things. It may take time to get passed and sure there will also be times where you think you're passed it and something will remind you of her and you'll struggle, but you just have to think about the happiness that happened and know that you still have people who support you." He explained, reassuring me that it's okay to be sad. "It's okay to be upset, but don't let it take over. You have so many people still standing with you, and we all just want to see you happy, I want to see you happy." Takashi finished resting his chin on my head still holding me as I silently cried into his shoulder.

"But why did it have to end up like this? I thought we would be friends for life. She helped me through so much." I said through my tears. He was right that I had to accept the good times and move on but damn it hurts.

I felt Takashi sigh before pulling me closer. "Not all relationships are meant to last a lifetime. Some things are only meant to last for short times. Think of it this way, she entered your life because you both had a lesson that the other needed to be taught about life, and once that lesson was learned and understood by both sides, it was time for her to exit your life and you to leave hers. Yes it ended harshly but maybe that was the lesson that was needed, while things can look and start off great, they may turn out to be bad for you in the end. Like I said before, be thankful for the good and bad times and appreciate the time you spent together. Maybe at some point in the future you will be brought together again." He kept holding me as he spoke. "Now enough of the sad talk. How about we order a pizza and watch anime before going to bed?" Takashi offered, once again lifting my chin, this time wiping the tears from my face as he spoke.

"That sounds nice, but what about hanging with the old Toman crew?" I asked knowing we had plans for a Toman reunion of sorts later this evening.

"They'll be fine without us, we do this thing every month. I'll just text Ken and then I'll order the Pizza, plus I'm sure they will understand." He explained grabbing his phone from the nightstand. I just nodded and leaned back into his side not wanting to move anytime soon.

"Thank you, Takashi. I don't know what I would do without you." I said quietly. "I love you so much."

He was already on the phone with the pizza place but leaned down and whispered an "I love you too." placing a quick kiss to my lips before going back to the phone.